Illustration by Kalah Allen

I REALLY DO LOVE taking the bus to and from work. I do it every day. And nearly every morning the same obnoxious, 19-year-old dumbfuck honks his horn at me, flashes me a smile, and gestures for me to get into his dirty, lifted, covered-in-"I love hunting"-stickers truck. When has this ever worked? Can someone clue me in on the allure to young men honking at women? First, it startles the shit out of us and then instantly pisses us off. What is your motivation??!! Do you want a complete stranger getting into your ride? Do you think I'll be so moved by this romantic notion of fucking honking my ear off that I'll jump into your big rig and give you an appreciative morning handy? Stop it. Seriously. You drive east on Powell in a dark red, early 2000s Ford pickup. You ruin my mornings.—Anonymous