I, Anonymous 

Lord of the Fees

I am here to assist you in understanding why these overdraft fees were assessed to your account. When you ask your questions along with accusing statements, demands of refunds, and bad words, I do not want to help you. This will also not help your case in getting anything refunded. I am not here to take your abusive language or put up with your bullshit. It's not my fault you overdrew your account! I cannot be held accountable for your inability to add or subtract. I am here to fucking help your dumb ass. What I don't like is your fucking attitude and disregard of any responsibility on your behalf. Don't accuse me or demand your overdraft fees back just because you don't understand. Don't tell me it's not fair and don't tell me that you should only pay one fee instead of three, BECAUSE YOU'RE WRONG! You do not make the rules. I know the bank's policies and I HAVE read YOUR account agreement. Every fucking fee is valid. Please stop being such an asshole, it was your own fault and the only person you should be upset with is yourself.—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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