ILLUSTRATION BY KALAH ALLEN

I'm all about whatever relationships people feel comfortable with, be it same sex, polyamory, monogamy, whatev—get your strange on. What I take issue with is the attitude against people who want a traditional commitment, in particular women. We advise each other, "you don't want to drive them away" and "don't push it too fast too soon," but inevitably my girlfriends end up sharing physical intimacy without any emotional investment on the part of their suitors, and then get left in the dust. I say fuck that! Portland dudes, get it together! It's not our responsibility to clarify to you that we want to continue to see you if we like you enough to fuck you. And that maybe we are also hesitant about commitment but if you want to fuck us you better be down to hang and see what might happen, and I'm not talking about booty calls. If you're comfortable enough to do it, you should be comfortable enough to say it: "I want to fuck you but not date you." It's not on us to find a way to ruin the moment by letting you know, in all our shame, that we want the option of exploring the possibilities before or after we share what is arguably the most intimate act two people can share. It should be a given.—Anonymous