To the man who berated me in a PSU bathroom for not washing my hands after taking a piss: The intense level of anger you demonstrated while repeatedly shouting, "Wash your hands! That is fucking disgusting! You touched your PENIS!" caught me too off guard to do much more than laugh and call you a fucking nut. And while I stand by my assessment, I do wish I had said more.You were right. I did touch my penis. But, thanks to auto-flush urinals that's all I touched. My penis is the cleanest. I wager that more germs can be found on that bathroom's sink handles than on the skin o' my dick. Public poopers use those handles! But enough about my habits—what about you? Do you scrub your hands every time after you touch your dick? If one of your sausage fingers accidentally brushes your junk while changing clothes, is it a race to the soap? Do you allow your penis to be touched by others only if there is a sanitation station nearby? If you answered "no" to the above questions, then quit holding strangers' bathroom habits to a higher standard than you hold yourself to.—Anonymous
Two Shakes and a Tug
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.