Attention, everybody! I have a new addiction this week, and... no, it's not cocaine. My new addiction is... no, it's not rough sex. My new addic... NO, IT'S NOT STRANGLING KITTENS! JESUS, YOU PEOPLE!! I haven't strangled a single kitten since I was forced to defend myself against Jeffrey Dahmer's kitten—who totally deserved it, by the way! My new addiction is Netflix's superhero series Daredevil, and it's totally disrupting my life (which may or may not involve cocaine, rough sex, and not kitten strangling).
Now as you know, I'm a very busy person. I have a day job (writing about terrible television), and a night job (watching terrible television). Because if I don't watch the terrible television, and then tell you not to watch it, then you're going to watch it and then who's going to sell me cocaine, give me rough sex, and not provide kittens for me not to strangle?
That's why I have to squeeze in good television whenever I have a spare second. Example: I recently attended a neighbor's party. (It's a good idea to attend neighbors' parties, because then they're less likely to call the cops when they hear screams coming from your house.) Anyway, they're drinking wine, laughing, and cooing over some doorknob who was featured on Fresh Air, when I excused myself to go to the bathroom. But instead of doing a bump of coke, I slipped out the window, ran to my house, and watched an entire episode of Daredevil. Then, an hour later, I slipped back into the neighbor's house, rejoined the party, and no one even knew I was gone. Naturally, this pissed me off, so I overturned the snack table and stormed out. Which means I got to watch TWO episodes of Daredevil that evening!
So why am I so jacked up on Daredevil? Because unlike ABC's squeaky-clean Agents of SHIELD, Marvel's Daredevil is on Netflix—which doesn't need to conform to the broadcast networks' sense of faux morality. That's not to say it has rough sex—it doesn't. (BOOOOOOOO!!) However, it does have a dark, violent streak and a realistic amount of potty talk... which, for a Marvel product, sets it far apart from the crowd.
But the differences go even deeper. While many of Marvel's current projects (Agents of SHIELD, The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier) explore America's distrust of our government, Daredevil drills down to the microcosm. Rather than fighting marauding aliens trying to destroy the planet, this blind superhero (played by a terrific Charlie Cox) is too busy defending his neighborhood from corrupt gentrification. But even the gentrifying crime lord (Vincent D'Onofrio, who should get a goddamn Emmy) knows that the difference between himself and his violent masked enemy is paper-thin. And it's this darkness, this complicated morality (as well as the brilliant acting, smart scripting, and gorgeous cinematography) that separates Daredevil from the squirts of geekiness that currently dominate the genre.
And THAT is why I'm putting my neighbors' parties, cocaine, and rough sex temporarily aside to get a fix of my newest addiction... which is Daredevil! And NOT strangling kittens! (Seriously, shut up about that—I may want to adopt someday!)
This Week on Television
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29
8:00 HBO THE CASUAL VACANCY
Debut! A three-part miniseries based on the ADULT book by J.K. Rowling. (Sorry, Harry Potter nerds!)
10:00 SCI THROUGH THE WORMHOLE
Season premiere! Host Morgan Freeman explores bigotry... and how violent videogames can solve it?
THURSDAY, APRIL 30
9:00 ABC SCANDAL
The vice president hires Olivia to solve a problem... which might not be a bad idea for Joe Biden, either.
10:00 FX THE COMEDIANS
Billy and Josh's show is in deep poop, so they try to fix it—in two totally different and terrible ways.
FRIDAY, MAY 1
10:30 TLC PSYCHIC MATCHMAKER
Debut! I'd suggest you watch this show about a psychic who helps people make romantic connections... but she hooked me up with a GHOST!
SATURDAY, MAY 2
8:00 LIF CLEVELAND ABDUCTION—Movie
(2015) The story of the Cleveland women who were kidnapped for 11 years. (Lifetime's doing it, so expect SUBTLETY.)
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Featuring guest host Scarlett Johansson. (Rrrrowrr, rrrrowrr, pant-pant, ah-OOOOH-gah!)
SUNDAY, MAY 3
9:30 FOX THE LAST MAN ON EARTH
Season finale! Phil makes peace with Carol in the season-ending episode of the funniest network sitcom on TV!
10:00 SHO PENNY DREADFUL
Season premiere! This gothic horror series returns with Vanessa facing even more eeeeeevil.
MONDAY, MAY 4
8:00 NGC STARTALK
Two of my favorite people (host Neil deGrasse Tyson and Dan Savage) discuss my favorite subject (sex).
9:00 HBO KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK
Music fans should not miss this authorized documentary about Cobain, featuring never-before-seen footage.
TUESDAY, MAY 5
8:00 CW THE FLASH
Dr. Wells releases Gorilla Grodd on the city, when he knows perfectly well there's a banana shortage.
9:00 ABC AGENTS OF SHIELD
Skye can't decide whether to side with SHIELD or the Inhumans (whose name is far creepier than SHIELD).