Illustration by Kalah Allen

What is UP with big oranges? You can't just go to the grocery store and buy an orange you can eat in one sitting anymore. They always gotta be big as the sun now? What the fuck? Is this a profit deal for Sunkist? Because it's making me not want to buy oranges. I don't have time for this. And once you peel that fucker it's DONE. There's no saving it for later, my friends. And just shut up about tangerines. Those are not oranges.—Anonymous