It's Who You Know 

Death to the Pixies

I'm not gonna front like I wasn't excited. Like everyone else in the world, the overzealous traces of teenage fandom overtook my rational mind, which conveniently forgot the premier natural law maintaining the delicate balance of the space-time continuum: Reunion tours, by their very nature, ALWAYS suck. The early reports--nothing short of preposterous in their glowing positivity--only added fuel to my already delusional fire. I mean, the Pixies were back together, right? The fucking Pixies! And because it was the Pixies, it was okay to set aside rules of cosmic harmony.

Imagine my disappointment, then, when last fall I realized a trip I had planned for the East Coast directly conflicted with the Oregon appearance of the flab four--an oversight I was sure I would regret forever. Since then, however, my excitement seems to have waned with each successive leg added to the now endless cash-in--an incremental corrosion that nearly bottomed out when I heard about the plan for this Thursday and Friday's Roseland sets. Dudes are doing two sets a night for two days: A six o'clock set for "B-Sides and Rarities" and a 10 o'clock for the "Classic Set"… at $40 a set. A SET. I know this smacks of sacrilege, but dudes: Don't you think that's a little tacky? And then the cosmos begins subtly ringing in my ears once again: "Reunion tours…" it whispers quietly, "by their very nature…" (louder still, leading into the dull roar) "…ALWAYS suck!"

The thing is, there are very, very few instances in which a reunion tour is conceived with honorable intentions--and Jesus knows the members of the Pixies didn't suddenly become enlivened with a ton of brilliant new ideas for Pixies songs. And when the blood from a creative venture has been completely drained, what exactly is the point of dragging its (albeit incredibly important) corpse on stage, if not for a few more dollars? Which isn't to say that I don't plan on attending--I mean, they're still the Pixies, right? Aren't they?

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