AS SADLY EXPECTED—because good things must always come to an end, and beautiful butterflies must be allowed to fly free—Ian Karmel, Portland comic genius and author of the Mercury's super popular column Portland as Fuck, is moving to Los Angeles to seek his fortune. Here are a few questions we had for him:
MERCURY: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYY???
IAN KARMEL: The time is right... well, the time will be right pretty soon. I wouldn't leave Portland if I didn't feel like there were opportunities waiting in Los Angeles. This isn't an easy city to leave, but if I'm ever going to own a home here and live in that, instead of a series of oranger and oranger American Property Management apartments, I need to go down to LA and make some things happen. You know how Jay-Z had to go buy drugs in Virginia so he could sell them in New York? I'm doing pretty much exactly the same thing.
When are you moving, and on whose couch will you be sleeping?
I'm not leaving until August, so I've got one last summer in Portland! I'll be putting on a bunch of shows, including one big going-away show on August 1. I'm getting a place with a friend of mine when I move down there.
How much longer will you be writing Portland as Fuck—which is to say, when do our tears of laughter cease and our tears of sadness begin?
I'll write Portland as Fuck right up until I leave and then for a little while after I move just to upset people at the Willamette Week.
Any plans to come back? Like in two weeks?
I'll be back all the time! I hope to keep doing shows here when I can and I'm close with my family. I'd love to end up living here again someday. I'm going to be pitching a lot of TV shows with "So it takes place in a city like Portland, Oregon..."
Do you have any idea how cool you are, and how much we'll miss you?
I love you and like I said, I'll be back all the time! Don't make that face at me with the sad lip.