GOOGLE "GULLIBLE"

DEAR MERCURY—In regards to Paul Constant's review of Toward 2012 [Books, Feb 12]: Up until now, I naively believed that Google was just a simple internet search engine. A quick Google search, and you can apparently find out anything! I've read a lot on 2012, but I was wasting my time. If only I had done a quick Google search, I would have saved so much time and realized that whole thing was "dumb bullshit." Thank you so much, Paul Constant. 

-Brandon Keller

GOING UNDER

GREETINGS—The Columbia River Crossing on I-5 is the worst bottleneck in the Western United States ["Columbia River Confusion," News, Feb 5]. What to do? Make the big project into a series of small projects. One part of the big plan that is eligible for federal funding programs is light rail. Right here in Portland we have the machinery, the highly skilled local work force, and the established infrastructure to do a light rail system beneath the Columbia River to Vancouver, USA. We have tunneled beneath the Willamette, we can tunnel beneath the Columbia. The future of infrastructure in America is underground. Cost effective and durable, light rail tunnels to Vancouver (near I-5 and I-205) will alleviate a large portion of the congestion and reduce the poisonous pollution caused by that congestion. By utilizing the assets that we have in hand, it is estimated that we can realize a savings of 25 MILLION DOLLARS or more, and get the project moving. The time to examine the possibilities is now.

-Stephen Kendall

LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE

DEAR MERCURY—I know that economic times are hard, but there are certain transgressions that must not be left unchecked. Imagine my horror when picking up your paper recently I discovered, missing, advertisements for not only Counter Media, but also a little Portland gem by the name of Cindy the Erotic Pleaser. Seeing as the Mercury auctioned off Cindy pillows a scant few months ago for charity, and Counter Media routinely runs the lewdest little corner of your paper, can't you do her, Counter Media, and the city the favor of supporting small businesses and bringing them into the Mercury fold? Oh, and unless this ridiculous Sam Adams witch-hunt unfolds to include Cindy's pillows, I'm totes over it.

-Matthew Bird

UM, NO. WE CAN'T DO THAT. But, congratulations to Matthew for calling attention to the fact that local businesses like the ones you find in the Merc need the financial support of the still-employed people of this city. Fewer customers mean less money for ads. Oh! And, turn to pg. 44 of the paper for reassurance that Cindy is still nestled in the bosom of our pages, right where she belongs.