CLOUD CONTROL

RE: The sky, the sun, the air, and the airplanes.

HI MERCURY—The recent beautiful sunny days in Portland have brought out those high-flying hero pilots whose crisscrossing white exhaust trails expand until the once clear day has been transformed into a hazy, panoramic tic-tac-toe board upon which the ancient Roman gods surely have many wonderful games. What are your thoughts on chemtrails? I know it is a hotly debated subject, but having years ago lived in Southern California where these same high-altitude shenanigans took place on a regular basis, I am disheartened to see it also happening in this politically awake and active city.

-Wearin' SPF F-15

POISON: RAID

RE: "The Thin Red Line" [Film, April 9], a disappointed review of The Raid 2, which we are most likely only going to review once.

DEAR MERCURY—I humbly request that you do another review of The Raid 2 by Gareth Evans, with a critic that is not a total pretentious asshole. I saw The Raid 2 and of course it was great. Mercury, my highly regarded trusted movie reviews, you let poison slip through the cracks.

-Oxygen Elmo

BACK IN THE THURSDAY

RE: "The Trouble with Thursdays" [Letters, April 9], regarding the evolutions of art walks First and Last Thursday, and In Other News [April 9], about the mayor's plans to begin charging Last Thursday's vendors.

First Thursday was less annoying 10-12 years ago, I would agree. We are deluged with transplants, many of who want to make their "Own Private Portland" based on some yuppie or hipster bullshit. Welcome to San Francisco in another 10 years.

-the Showstopper

Hales should make the Alberta Street businesses who profit from Last Thursday pay too. And while we're at it, invoice the asshat developers bulldozing historic homes to build $700k McMansions and split-lot monstrosities. They're profiting more than anyone else.

-Chunty McHutchence

INCONSISTENT

RE: "Sweeping Up" [News, April 9] regarding recent efforts to clean up homeless camps across the city.

The city council's approach to homelessness is beyond schizophrenic. It rousts individual small homeless camps, but is prepared to throw a million at R2D2. It builds places like Bud Clark Commons for a small number of people so down and out that little effort is made to guide or police their self-destructive activities and habits. Meanwhile thousands patiently follow the rules and wait on lists to be approved for affordable housing with HUD or Central City Concern, etc. The lesson the city is teaching people is that if they get together in a group to break the law, they'll get attention and be rewarded. If they play by the rules or simply try to survive on their own, they can expect to wait or be punished. Meanwhile, all that seems to be going up is "affordable" (which it is not) or "market rate" apartments with little to no parking and many monthly fees... sometimes replacing what used to be affordable alternatives for low- or middle-income renters. And for someone like Councilman Dan Saltzman to declare that the city need no longer concentrate on the plight of the truly low-income renter and should instead be looking at helping out the middle-income renters simply boggles the mind.

-Eyes Wide Open

CHEZ MERCURY

RE: "Romancin' Ted Danson by Scarlett Johansson" [New Column! April 9], a sample of erotic fan fiction.

If the Portland Mercury were a chef, it would consistently create decent, tasty meals that look great and satisfy a variety of palates. But every so often this mature, competent chef would suddenly revert to being an inconsiderate punk kid for a bit and decide to, for no good reason, sneak in a dollop of feces or a mouthful of phlegm into an otherwise healthy dish, just to be a disgusting asshole.

-human in training

WE COULDN'T HAVE put it better ourselves, human in training, so you get this week's Mercury letter of the week and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where we promise not to shoot any snot rockets into your bag of popcorn. No, really, we promise.