RE: Film Shorts [April 23], in which the documentary film Momenta is briefly reviewed, among other films, all of which are judged based on their political value and/or how much corporations are willing to buy us for.
DEAR MERCURY—Shame on you for your terrible, inaccurate review of [Momenta]. To my dismay the theater was less than half full and most of the people in attendance were older folks that already know about what [we're] up against here. These fine folks are fighting to save OUR backyard and playground. The documentary was designed to reach out to and inform young people about what could permanently alter life as we know it here in the Pacific Northwest. The only conclusion I can come up with as to why you are showing this documentary little or no support is perhaps you're sucking dirty-coal dick.
RE: TV Listings [April 30], including light mocking of the iHeartRadio Music Awards.
DEAR WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY—"The dying industry of 'radio' draws a final breath with this last-ditch effort to gain listeners." I don't see how free, wireless, streaming music could possibly have a place in today's modern tech society. Newspapers, on the other hand...
Chloe Lucero AKA Bruce Hornbuckle AKA Jack Something Something
RE: "A New West Drinking Frontier" [Last Supper, April 23], in which the American Local is favorably reviewed, including its bar stools that "mercifully" have backs on them.
DEAR MERCURY—I enjoyed the American Local review and especially got a kick out of the comment on bar stools without backs. This is my wife's major pet peeve. We went to Carmella's for the first time the other day. Nice wine bar. However, they have backless bar stools. They also have high bar tables with stools with backs. Before you know it they let me rearrange the furniture! A blow against backless barstool customer abuse!
A comfortable wino
RE: One Day at a Time [April 23], regarding Lindsay Lohan's claim that her "sex list" was a step in her Alcoholics Anonymous program.
DEAR ANN ROMANO—I'm a member of AA, sober seven years, a miracle I credit to a power greater than myself, and the AA program. I don't know what happened with Lindsay Lohan and the sex list, and I haven't watched her show. But making a sexual inventory is, in fact, part of the fourth step. There is a lot of leeway in AA and people do the inventories differently. It's common practice for a fourth step for people to make a list of resentments and look for their own part in them, make a list of fears, and make a list of sexual experiences and look for where you have been selfish or heartless or acted inappropriately. So I believe that Lindsay's "sex list" was part of her AA step work. And she probably didn't need to include people's last names, either!
DEAR MERCURY—I just read your review of the new FX series Fargo. Now... as a person who was raised in Minnesota, we need to get a few things straight. I never understood why a movie set in Minnesota was called Fargo. Fargo is in North Dakota. You also need to not talk about our accent until you understand it. I have never heard anyone say, "Dern tootin.'" NO ONE says, "Ya betcha!" It's still "you betcha," just remember to elongate your Os. "Yooo betcha." "A oookaay." That's what it's all "aboot." You'll get the hang of it. And always end your sentences with prepositions... "I'm gooing too the mall, you wanna come with?" I hope this was helpful.
HEY SHAWN, while we're busting up stereotypes about Midwesterners, how about writing to us about something that isn't last month's news? ZING! Not kidding, but you still win this week's letter of the week, dern tootin'! You get two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater—and if you think they have beer and pizza as well as films, well... yooo betcha!