SYMPHONY VS. QUEENSRŸCHE... WHO YA GOT?!?
DEAR MERCURY—Wow. Your music previews last week were truly exhaustive, incredibly including both Holcombe Waller and Queensrÿche. Let me simply state that the show to catch last weekend took place at the Schnitz—Portland's original local band the Oregon Symphony took on three pieces guaranteed to blow minds and break hearts. The set began with Rainbow Body, a work composed way back in 2000 by then 33-year-old Christopher Theofanidis; this masterpiece was a resounding "Suck it" directed right at those who may ignorantly think the symphony's shows are nothing but stodgy and irrelevant musical filler. What followed was hands down the thrill of the night, when keyboard superstar Garrick Ohlsson executed Beethoven's revolutionary fourth piano concerto with unsurpassed technical command and emotion. To be clear, having musicians of Ohlsson's stature play with the Oregon Symphony on a regular basis is analogous to having Björk sit in with Menomena, or perhaps Tom Waits dropping in to play a few tunes with Weinland every other week. The second half of the program featured Sibelius' dramatically modern Symphony no. 1—40 minutes with 60 musicians you can't find anywhere else in town. All of this in one night and you fucknuts don't even have the decency or intelligence to put a tiny recommendation star next to the live music listing.
FREE SINCE 2000
That is some lame-ass insight and analysis ["Second Season," Blazers playoff column, April 23]. Apparently the Mercury is too hip to be into professional sports—so instead of adding insight and analysis, they pooh-pooh the entire team. Thanks for wasting five minutes of my life. I want a refund.
-Posted by HDragon on portlandmercury.com
I'LL SHOW YOU SCARY
It's scary ["Don't Be So Dense," News, April 23]? People need to stop using that phrase in association with clearly non-scary stuff. I thought Portland was all about progressive urban planning, density, mass transit. I thought the reason you live close in on the Eastside is because it is close in, dense, thriving. If you want CC&Rs [covenants, conditions, and restrictions], if you want restrictions on the free expression of style, if you want to hamstring dense development... move to the 'burbs. Scary. LMFAO.
-Posted by Demondog on portlandmercury.com
THE PORTLAND PLAN
DEAR PORTLAND MERCURY—In your April 23 issue, you published my vision for Portland's future ["Welcome to 'Wow Town, USA!'" New Column! April 23]. However, your list was incomplete, because I aim to make Portland the wow-iest town in the entire world. To accomplish this, I plan to: repaint the Portland Building with chalkboard paint and invite the community to leave public comment. Build a commuter zipline across the Columbia River. Build a Major League Roller Derby stadium. Reinforce our sustainability rep by dyeing the Willamette River green. Select one person to serve as "the voice of the public" and invite him to task force meetings, etc. I nominate myself. Attract Cat Fanciers' Association annual meetings, by building a pet hotel next door to the convention center. Put a neon "We heart Estacada" sign—with a blinking heart—on top of Big Pink. Swap the decks of the CRC, so bikes, pedestrians, and transit is up top, where the view is.
-Sam Adams, Mayor, City of Portland
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, "Sam." You win two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where the fish sandwiches are the wow-iest around!
R.I.P SASHA CLAPPER
Early on the morning of Saturday, April 25, Sasha Clapper died from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident. The Mercury sends our condolences to his family and many friends. Rest in peace, Sasha.