STRUCK BY LIPSTICK
DEAR MERCURY—What the fuck is Sarah Mirk on? I read her article on transit technology with interest, being a person who's interested in both public transport and technology ["I Bus, I Bike, iPhone," News, July 16]. I was happily reading the piece over breakfast when I get to the paragraph quoting TriMet Data and Technology Manager Bibiana McHugh, which details not only her words on transit software and opinions on open source, but also what color lipstick and suit she is wearing. This is exactly the kind of journalism women do not need. While the media insists on focusing on how a woman looks, instead of what she says or does, we'll be stuck with the mid-20th century sexism this article stinks of.
DEAR MERCURY—Who the fuck is this guy Three-Fingered ass-bang Larry anyway ["C'mon Down to Mentally Incompetent Three-Fingered Larry's "Recall Sam Adams" Sign-Up Hut!," New Column, July 16]? Larry, go back to your doublewide and fry something—preferably your brains! Oh, and Larry: Your thumb is not a finger. You two-fingered asswipe from hell!
UP IN OUR BUSINESS
You want jobs but you don't want the business-friendly environment that attracts those jobs ["What Else Ya Got?" Hall Monitor, July 16]. Bottom line, Portland needs to attract more private sector jobs. Let's face it, art galleries on Hawthorne and farmers markets don't produce the same tax revenue that comes from an Intel.
-posted by Venzetti on portlandmercury.com
FOR WHOM IT TOLLS
If the Vancouverites don't want to toll the bridge then they don't "need" a bridge ["Toll Order," News, July 9]. Tolling now would reduce a lot of "unnecessary" driving, reducing the need for a bridge today. Expecting "free" money from the bankrupt federal government should be a last option.
-posted by Tamer on portlandmercury.com
FOR LOVE, NOT MONEY
DEAR MERCURY—What!? I don't how much money Dr. Dwight Reid paid for his front-page cover ad [Cover, July 16] but good on his clever little mind for sucker punching the Mercury and its readers with his self-serving, creatively boring message. As for the Mercury, it just goes to show how low you are willing to crawl for a little money.
HAIKU TO YOU, TOO
DEAR MERCURY—I always imagined that you bought the shitty-ass covers for your tawdry no-bit rag at some absurdist haiku outlet out in Gresham somewhere. Did they go out of business? Perhaps there's a more craven reason for using the cover of your July 16 issue to advertise Bridgetown Chiropractic and Wellness? Mind you, as an advertisement it's fucking brilliant! If I didn't know better... wait a minute, has there been a hostile takeover by the Willamette Week?!? I'm scared.
WE'RE SCARED TOO, MECCA, by the lack of observational skills on the part of both you and C.R.A., who did not catch the fact that last week's cover image was that of the winning bidder on the "You Design the Cover!" item from our most recent holiday charity auction, during which we raised over $16,000 for the Portland Women's Crisis Line. In another act of charity, we're giving you two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish! where you can write your own absurdist haikus.
AUDITION FOR PIZZAZZ!
Do you have a fun, crazy talent? Want to win $1,000? Then audition for Pizzazz! (Portland's funnest talent show). Singers, dancers, magicians, unicyclists—whatever! Share your gift with the world, and win big bucks to boot. Sign up online at portlandmercury.com/pizzazz and get the attention and MOOLAH you deserve!