Shameful ["The Best of Enchanted Forest," Feature, July 23]. I'd be one of the parents holding my children closer. I hope the "journalists" don't have children of their own—but I'm sure they don't considering the lack of respect for morality and the veiled hints at pedophilia. This world is doomed.
-posted by InvictaPdx on portlandmercury.com
IN PRAISE OF PERSEVERENCE
Almost 40 years ago I found myself renting a basement apartment just down the road from the Enchanted Forest ["The Best of Enchanted Forest," Feature, July 23]. We would often stop by and visit with Roger [Tofte], who was always at work on multiple undertakings. What a great testimony to perseverance. How satisfying that his hard work is well recognized today.
-posted by DBinPdx on portlandmercury.com
NOW & LATER
Frankly, it baffles me that there are those that continue to support and defend institutionalized socio-economic inequality ["Equal Rights: Women'll Love It!" News, July 23]. Such practices ultimately undermine our state and national progress, and threaten economic stability. While there is always a choice to do nothing, we inevitability pay more in the end when it hemorrhages and becomes a crisis.
-posted by arosepdx on portlandmercury.com
Tom Charette, you raging douche ["Three-Fingered Snap!" Letters, July 23]. The thumb is TOO a finger, you flaming bag of crap. Just because the digit happens to be opposable on human hands does not make it any less of a finger than the other digits. A simple search for the physiology of the human hand would reveal this information—so before you go off on somebody with some righteous indignation over a cause you believe so strongly about, it might behoove you to do the minimal amount of research to not make yourself look like a total ass. ASS.
-posted by ChadStrut on portlandmercury.com
I know this is a vapid celebrity gossip column but is it really necessary to fat-shame a woman that is not in any way actually fat [One Day at a Time, July 23]?
posted by Brit 1565 on portlandmercury.com
BAD BIKE BUSINESS
Sounds like a great private business venture ["Sexier than Zipcar," News July 23, regarding a bike-sharing system being considered by the city]! Unfortunately, it probably is not profitable and thus no person or company is willing to throw their money away. But why do we need private businesses when we can just have the government run it and tax the non-users for the service? No wonder why successful businesses run away from P-town and we have a 12 percent unemployment rate.
-posted by Jota on portlandmercury.com
SLIPPING THE TOOL TO PAULA ABDUL
DEAR CARLOS SANTANA ["I Slipped the Banana to Hannah Montana by Carlos Santana," New Column! July 23]—My friend, I was deeply moved by your succulent tale of the mighty dentata of Hannah Montana devouring your banana Mexicana that night in the Havana cabana. This is a great accomplishment! It reminds me of a time long ago, when I was 17 and cool, the day I slipped my tool to the one and only Paula Abdul. She came to perform at my school, making many a boy drool, which seemed to me rather cruel, but I was no fool, I knew Paula Abdul would soon be my crown jewel. I found her in a bikini by the pool, making Phoebe Cates look like a ghoul, and Paula soon smiled at my challenge to a steamy carnal duel. We quickly embraced, breaking every rule, and this is no bull, she even tried to tongue my stool, but in the end my tool was deeply embedded in Paula Abdul.
CONGRATULATIONS TO CHRISTOPHER for his rhyming response, winning him the Mercury's letter of the week (remember, hold those children close)! He wins two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish! where the food is pretty steamy, too.