FEEDING THE POOR
DEAR MERCURY—For some inexplicable reason, you've stopped including the prices for menu items in your restaurant reviews. Seeing as we're in the thick of a recession, and I'm moments away from selling my goddamned kidney on the black market, it would be appreciated if you would deign to provide this information in the future.
DEAR MERCURY—To the angry lawyer who chose to spout off in I, Anonymous this week, you must be high ["Guilt Trip," I, Anonymous, July 30]. This country would go to hell in a hand basket if we acquitted every single drug possession case that came across a prosecutor's desk. Knowing nothing more about the case against your client but the few sentences in I, Anonymous, in the end your client didn't just lose the case because the jury chose to convict, your client also lost because you did not provide superior legal counsel. Take some responsibility yourself.
TO BE CONTINUED?
TO THE EDITOR AND THE ANONYMOUS WRITER(S) OF THE NEW COLUMN PENNED BY "MAYOR TOM POTTER" ["Hot Under the Collar," New Column! July 30]—This is absolutely insulting and disrespectful to attribute this racist, ageist drivel to our former mayor. Best that the Mercury not continue this "column" next week, nor the week after, and so forth, by your cowardly ghostwriters.
DEAR MERCURY—Wow! Incredible! Outtasight!! [Cover, July 30] This has to be the best cover art that I have seen on any publication in quite some time. Hats off to Matt Furie!
DEAR MERCURY—A friend of mine pointed me to this article as "something of interest to read" [Dungeons & Divas, Feature, July 30]. I have to say, without embarrassment, that it ended up bringing tears to my eyes. I'm female, and have been gaming for over 21 years. I currently have two active games and three games on deck, am involved in the local indie game GoPlayPDX network, work with game designers and publishers, play test, wear a carved quartz d20 around my neck, and go to conventions all over the place. And I still get the strange looks when I walk into the "boys club" RPG stores, get talked down to by vendors at game fairs, and have to prove myself as "worthy" of the hobby.
DEAREST MERCURY—Thank you so very much for bringing back my childhood ["The Best of Enchanted Forest," Feature, July 23]! Even as I aged and began to notice the seams showing, the dust that needed cleaning, the dated look of some exhibits, it strangely never lost that air of having grown organically within that lovely forest. As I aged into my teens I heard wild tales of the fun that could be had at Enchanted. Fellow theater friends delighted me with their tales of virginity lost and drugs discovered while working the forest. Then in my early 20s I felt that ole familiar tug of Enchanted calling to me. Still not a driver, I forced a friend to take me and lo! The haunted house still scared! The Crooked House still unnerved! The Fantasy Fountain still delighted! Now 39 (HWP, working at Powell's on Burnside, still don't drive), I sometimes smile at the memories and take comfort that the Enchanted Forest is not a dream. It really happened. And can happen again when I find someone, somewhere who will take me.
WELL THANK GOODNESS you're "Height Weight Proportionate," Christopher! With physical gifts like that you're sure to find a ride to the Enchanted Forest. Especially if you promise to share your two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where you can tastefully retain your figure.