SURVIVOR

DEAR MERCURY—RE: Shawna Chavez's rant about Ann Romano ["Abuse Cycle," Letters, June 10]. Like Ms. Chavez, I too was a victim of terrible childhood abuse. I too suffer from severe PTSD, have cheated on my spouse, behaved in terrible ways many, many times, been violent with both people I love and strangers, PLUS served time due to addiction-related crimes. I am so fucking sick of my fellow victims abdicating all responsibility for their crappy actions by saying, "Boo hoo hoo, I had a hellish childhood so I can behave in any damn way I please." The poor choices I made were made because I wanted to make them... as are anybody's.

-Amy

NOT FUCKING FUNNY

DEAR MERCURY—I believe that mockery and satire are important tools that can educate and open people's minds, while allowing them to laugh at themselves. At the same time, it is a fine line, and while your editorial staff may not have thought so, I was very offended with your New (fake) Column! I read today online by Jasper Farmington in regard to the upcoming naked bike ride and "fucking" someone when he catches them ["An Open Letter to World Naked Bike Ride Participants," June 17]. Granted, I understand it's in jest. But the fact that he's a fictional character, or even a slow fictional character, or a fictional character with a "fetish" for non-consensual sex, does not make the sentiment less offensive or rape more funny. I don't think I need to include the outrageous statistics of the number of women and men who are daily victimized by sexual assault. Framing this as a sexual opportunity takes away all the power of the event, [which] I know is not the intention of the Mercury.

-Rachel Smith & Kjerstin Johnson

WHY I HATE PEOPLE

DEAR MERCURY—I hate people, and here is why: I heard about this World Naked Bike Ride thing last year. So my GF and I went down last night to check it out. As it droned on, I learned two things. One: People stink. I now realize that clothing is not only a good idea for practical and aesthetic reasons, but it is essential to mask the stench of humankind. The second thing I learned about these free-spirited naked cyclists is that they are totally rude a-holes. Understandably a crowd of onlookers had gathered, and some snapped photos. The cyclists yelled at us, insisting we be naked, called us perverts, and flipped us the bird. I asked my GF what the point of the whole thing was. She thought it was a social protest to bring awareness to biking safety and freedom of expression, etc. All I saw was a lot of rude, smelly people who left behind a trail of American Spirit butts and PBR cans. If you don't want people taking pictures of you or gawking, then don't ride your bike naked.

-mizz beoutch

SOCCER = THE SIMPSONS

HEY PARTY-POOP HIPSTERDOUCHESMUSTDIE ["EADIAF," Letters, June 17]—No one who is not already interested to begin with will stick around during breakfast or lunchtime during the week, for the next three weeks, to watch a boring game of soccer for an hour and a half or more just because the Mercury advertised area venues ["World Cup Primer," Blogtown, June 10]. I don't feel you will have any trouble finding a place to watch it alone. Soccer is for everyone, just as the Merc was sayin' [in] their column. Like The Simpsons, football is fascinating at its most basic to intellectual levels. The more the merrier to enjoy the beautiful game, and that means even you. Peace.

-Kate

AND PEACE BE with you, Kate. Let's hope this year's screenings of the matches are too early in the day for even hooligans to wage drunken brawls. For your benevolent entreaty, you win two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where fascination is also found on basic and intellectual levels.