TO THE MERCURY: I truly love your paper; I read it religiously, proselytize about it endlessly, and devoutly nurture a secret crush on Katia Dunn.
But I believe I might have found a pretty big error in "Sex Survey Results 2002" [Feb 7]. The "Who's Havin' the Sex?" chart says that only ".25%" of lesbians have sex at least 2-3 times per week. But 3% of your approximately 500 respondents are lesbian--that is, 15 of them. If just one of these 15 had said they get sex 2-3 times per week, that would be 6.67%. (!) So my question is, what part of the lesbian answered, "Yes"?
P.S. Katia: If you're 5'5" or shorter and like cowpunk and PBR, drop me a line!
Hey Robert: Sex stats are confusing! But here's the breakdown (and remember, all percentages were rounded off): Only 21% of the 500 respondents said they were having sex 2-3 times per week. We then divided that 21% into straight males (8%), straight females (7%), bi females (3%), bi males (1%), gay males (1%), and lesbians at a meager .25%. So according to our figures, the lesbian's foot answered "yes."
"FATHEAD FRATBOY" RESPONDS!
DEAR ANN ROMANO: Just wanted to give you a little insight to the "fancy art party" you wrote about ["One Day at a Time," Feb 7]. While I'm glad you decided to write about my birthday party, you didn't have all the facts. Benicio Del Toro showed up at 2:30 a.m., and being as we had a full bar, it would've been a bad idea to keep it going late. Heard of the OLCC? And I am the one who told him it was over. I certainly am not a "fathead fratboy," but an openly gay man big difference. But since someone thought I looked 20, I must be doing something right. Happy 27th birthday to me! Also, I probably didn't start the party back up because I'm not a starstruck, tabloid twit. Does that make me an idiot? Anyhow, thanks again for the mention. Oh yeah, how many birthday parties of YOURS has Benicio shown up to?
MORE HOT STAFF PHOTOS, PLEASE
DEAR HUMP-HUMP: Please bring back the "WORST WRITER OF THE WEEK" column [Jan 17 & 24]. It is not "just another bad in-joke," but an altogether beneficial scolding of pretension and excess. And you must be judged as well, given your own puerile ranting and psychosexual fits. But the photos of the staff are key. I'm sure I am not alone in wondering what the soulful and bilious Katie Shimer looks like or that silver-tongued devil Ann Romano.
ONE LESS PLACE TO HAVE SEX
TO THE EDITOR: I just read that Inner City Hot Tubs was voted as one of the "Best Places in Portland to Have Sex" ["Sex Survey 2001," Feb 7]. Unfortunately, we do not tolerate any sexual activity on the premises, and people who do not respect our policy are asked to leave. Inner City Hot Tubs is a Japanese style hot-tub/sauna facility, clothing optional and co-ed.
In our experience it's usually disturbing for our patrons when anyone is engaging in sexual activity around them. The great majority of our members and regulars come here for something else, and we do everything to offer them a space where they can feel safe. So Inner City Hot Tubs is not a place to have sex in Portland, no matter what your survey says. We will not tolerate it, not because it is wrong, but because it is not the place.
Inner City Hot Tubs
SHARING AN APARTMENT IN HELL
TO THE EDITOR: Slaves! Vermin! The shiny gloss of bullshit that coats your lips and cheeks after being expelled from your mouth and fingers is beginning to block my ability to see any point in your paper. Article after article written by people who have not been to the shows/ movies/plays they have such a strong opinion on Julianne get out the diaper for christsakes! Stop giving advice! You are in the business of narrowing people's worldview and claiming to have a liberal outlook. Are you stupid? Or does your ego fill in all the spaces that might be taken up with self-reflection?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I can't tell if I am the one in hell for reading your paper or if you are for writing it.
Congrats and two tix to the Laurelhurst Theater go to Pig Ripple for submitting the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" (It kind of reminded us of a Moody Blues song.) Got a question or a gripe? Send it to the address above and you could be our next winner!