DEAR MERCURY—I get it. Your paper is edgy. But in his review of the movie Red, Erik Henriksen crossed the line with older adults, throwing out one stereotype after another: Buicks, Fixodent, bowel control, excessive sleeping, etc. ["Die Hard in A Retirement Home," Film, Oct 14] You folks are tactful enough not to stereotype by race, so why not by age?
DEAR MERCURY—No on 74 ["Shootout at the Buzzer," Feature, Oct 21]? I understand the Mercury is pretending to be a legit member of "the Press," but you guys are thinking way too hard about this: Do you want people to go to jail for pot, yes or no?
-Conrad J. Burke
LISTEN UP, B-HOLES—Granted, I agree with many of the voting choices the Merc so kindly made FOR ME ["Shootout at the Buzzer," Feature, Oct 21], but I think it's flat out irresponsible to tell people who/what to vote for. Telling people how to vote or what to think is no better than Fox News persuading people to believe that Obama is anti-America or gays are all pedophiles and into bestiality.
DEAR MERCURY—I decided to see for myself if the Oregon Historical Society is worth saving ["Shootout at the Buzzer," Feature, Oct 21]. After my visit, I feel we should bail it out for education and tourism. However, several things made me want to bitch: 1) They told me to put the admission sticker on my clothing instead of giving my ticket to someone at the entrance. Such stickers are covered with clothing fibers when they're removed. The damage may be infinitesimal, but it's MY clothing. 2) I wanted to explore the entire museum. I saw "Madison Room" on the Visitor Map and signs pointing to the Madison Room. I got in the elevator, and the button to the Madison Room didn't function. After a brief moment of anxiety that I might be trapped in a malfunctioning elevator, I pushed the Open Door button and exited the elevator, and a museum staff member said that the Madison Room is a conference room, and there's no exhibit there. 3) The booklet for the "Oregon My Oregon" exhibit is too fucking pixelated, and it's stapled with a regular stapler instead of a saddle stapler. 4) I don't know if it was cheap speakers, the format of their audio files, or what, but the audio of the exhibits seemed grating to me. 5) The most dipshit thing was the display case for scientific exploration in the early 1800s, which contained specimens from the Northwest and tools used to collect them. There were glass jars of specimens with white PLASTIC peanut butter jar lids.
When I type "humpfest" into my iPhone text message box, it auto corrects with "Humphrey," the last name of your infamous editor... Either Steve Jobs hates Humpfest or loves Wm. Steven Humphrey. Can you shed some light?
NOT REALLY, BRADFORD, but since you brought it up: Get your tickets for the HUMP! amateur porn fest on Nov 12-13 at portlandmercury.com/hump, and that's not even all: Get up early this Saturday and join us at 9 am at the Mission Theater to watch "The Rally to Restore Sanity" live! In the meanwhile, Bradford gets two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where the food is insane.