DEAR MERCURY—1) Mercury you are a bunch of Pussies. If you really had any stones you would have dressed as the Qur'an ["The Holy Portland Mercury Halloween Dress Up Issue," Feature, Oct 28]. 2) Why the fuck is my pug wearing a PBR box? My roommate said it was your idea.
TO THE MERCURY VIA VOICEMAIL—Yeah, this may just be a recording, but I'm going to let you know what I think of your newspaper. I think it's pretty sick when you sit there and claim to be a Christian newspaper but yet you talk about the crap you talk about, the ads you have in it ["The Holy Portland Mercury Halloween Dress Up Issue," Feature, Oct 28]. It's pretty sick. I happen to be a Christian, and I'm really offended by it. You have a great day, hypocrite.
HI—Here's some love and hate for that Bible cover you did for Halloween ["The Holy Portland Mercury Halloween Dress Up Issue," Feature, Oct 28]. The love: I loved the witty themes sprinkled throughout. I would expect nothing less. Like those Mormons who show up with the word of god, you too just don't quit. Thus concludes the love in this love and hate email. And here begins the hate. Oh how I hate the stupid font you chose for the issue. It is the most difficult font to read. Ever! I am a first grade teacher and I can read some pretty bad handwriting but this stuff was ridiculous.
DEAREST MERCURY—Please keep Miss Marjorie "In Chargorie" Skinner away from the film section! Her review of Gaspar Noé's latest film was atrocious ["Neverending Story," Film, Oct 28]. Her ignorance of film is only matched by her profound ignorance of the entheogenic experience, which seems to be limited to "tripping balls" in her dorm room while working through her mundane delusions of grandeur and "god-complex" issues. Miss Skinner's impoverished social life aside, this review was completely uninformative and superficial, less a review than a not-so-subtle verbal sublimation of the author's past regrets and feelings of inadequacy, and has no place in the Mercury. Let her keep her "fashion" articles and her micro-managing duties as Assistant Editor. Humpy does need to be kept in line, but please, please keep her away from the film reviews!
The whole "gay teacher" thing is like a dog whistle to the right-winger/Christian coalition, it plays right into their "indoctrinating-of-the-youth" fears they all seem to share ["Beaverton Gets Schooled," News, Oct 28]. The sooner everyone starts treating non-heteros like human beings and not like some disease that needs to be "tolerated" the sooner we can start wringing our hands over real social issues.
-Posted by disastronaut on portlandmercury.com
SERIOUSLY, DISASTRONAUT, we agree. That's why you win this week's letter of the week prize! Prizes! You get two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where everyone is treated like a human being.