TO THE EDITOR, VIA VOICEMAIL: "Yes, I wanted to comment on your "Not Again!" article [News, April 1, in which the police shot Jahar Perez during a traffic stop]. The independent study concluded that the police failed to learn from their mistakes. That's not true at all. They've learned that if they make a mistake, all they need to say is they 'felt threatened'--then they can get away with using deadly force. That's not my opinion, by the way... that's what's happened. Every grand jury has come to that conclusion; the officer says they felt threatened and the grand jury comes back with 'no harm, no foul.' It's a totally subjective standard, and that's the problem."
FISH STICK-EATING MAMA'S BOY
TO THE EDITOR: The very soul of your paper is at stake. What's it gonna be: cynical foul-mouthed punk or overwrought flowery brat ["Fish Stick Day, Mmm, Yes!" by Cornelius Van Shack Armentrout, April 8]? Please, I implore you, give me the gutter rat [Jerry Masterson] any day. Don't let the rose-colored glasses wearing, peace and brotherhood crowd in this city ruin your excellent rag. I eat granola and meditate every morning. It's the only time of the day I want that shit. Please bring back trash-talking Jerry and send that fish stick-eating mama's boy packing.
I'M NOT A FUCKING HIPPIE
TO THE MERCURY: I'm going to start this letter by saying I am not a fucking hippie. I am however, someone who is tired of fucking assholes claiming they are "all about the music." Jason Sabala taking over Mt. Tabor is yet another reason why the Portland music scene is going to shit ["Hippies Out; Rock In," Katie Shimer, April 8]. He says he wants more money to get to the bands. Yeah right! I'm also shocked you brought up DV8--that place is a turd. Three out of four shows I've seen there were shitty. The only cool thing about DV8 was the hot bartender. It's too bad that pretty much every club is now being booked by dicks that want everything to be "hardcore." What the fuck does that mean anymore?
I'M NOT A HIPPIE, EITHER
TO THE MERCURY: Concerning the Mt. Tabor Pub music venue, I agree with Katie... good riddance. The one time I went there I was assaulted by terrible sound, expensive beer, and an inability to move my feet due to their sticky as hell, nasty ass carpet! Who the fuck would put carpet in a live music club!?! Anyway, this dude Jason seems pretty cool. But an ALL ROCK club?! Why??? How boring, bland, and white can you be? Yo, Jason, I only liked one kind of music, too... when I was 16. How about growing up and opening your freakin' ears! There's more out there than white geeks with combat boots, black leather, tattoos, and electric guitars.
I'M A HIPPIE!
TO THE EDITOR: In reference to Ms. Shimer's informative article about the Mt. Tabor Pub: Sure, your feet may stick to the floor sometimes, and maybe its freakin' HOT on summer days, but Mt. Tabor has always offered a welcoming home for me and my kidz. And the "hippie and folk music" you speak of?? Are you intentionally omitting, or just unaware of Tabor's most worthwhile draw? It's called reggae, Katie. Heard of it?? Reggae is positive and life affirming, and I'm sorry but I don't think I could be spiritually enlightened by bands whose names reference atrocities such as suicide and bulimics. Well, good thing us hippies are "nomadic" and can "caravan" elsewhere. Actually, I think we're looking for a place with pool tables, shuffleboard, and cheap PBR. Looks like tons of us dreadlocked, stinkin', displaced-from-Tabor hippie kidz are gonna make schwillin' at the Sandy Hut our new stompin' ground. See ya there, Katie.
I'M A TEXAN! YEEEE-HAW!!!
TO THE MERCURY: I just noticed Phil Busse's film review of The Alamo [April 8]. Being a born Texan I'm sure you can understand my fondness for this snippet of history. The problem here is not in our future mayor's review of a movie. First of all, Davy Crockett served as a Representative of Tennessee--not a Senator. Secondly, the Texans were not "U.S. forces" as he refers to them. They were Mexican citizens according to the Mexican constitution of 1824. I haven't seen the movie, but as a Texan, "Screw you, Busse!" Get your facts straight and eat a furry bag of dick! P.S. I'm still voting for you because Francesconi eats a bigger, furrier bag of dick than you.
CONGRATS TO GARBEAR for actually remembering the Alamo and winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" Two tickets to the Laurelhurst, and two passes to see Stellastarr at Dante's--that's what you get!