LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 

LEAVING LOHAN

DEAR ANN [ROMANO]—You want to be her, don't you Romano [One Day at a Time, Jan 6]? You're dying to be in the limelight like your "target du annum" Ms. [Lindsay] Lohan. You know there's all sorts of OTHER gossip to report on. But you, misguided one, are hopelessly mired down with delusions of becoming famous by trashing the famous. You write well, Ann. But you're seriously lacking the big picture. You want to be her, don't you?!?! Or at least you want to be a successful version of her. Well here's your chance: I've just trashed you the way that you've systematically trashed LL for the last year or so. Confidential to "Hubby Kip": Condolences, dude.

-Ken DeLoria

SAVE ME

What alternative "tactics" do you suggest ["Shooting for a Diagnosis?" News, Jan 6]? Does Dan [Handelman] understand the cops were not only protecting themselves but also protecting the family members from further harm and protecting innocent bystanders (neighbors) from this menace? No thanks, Dan. When I call 911 because someone (mental issues or not) is trying to hurt or kill me, I want the cops to come and protect me—RIGHT NOW—not stand back half a mile and take 30 minutes to come up with contingency plans for every conceivable course of action the suspect might take.

-posted by craig p

THE CONTINUING BIKE BATTLE

Here's a thought—not every aspect of sustainable transportation is reducible to a dependence on bikes ["Track Attack," News, Jan 6]. And yet another of those pesky thoughts—avoiding crashes on rail tracks embedded into streets is easy, and obvious, and doesn't require panic on the part of a hobby community—all it takes is a simple adjustment to the way you ride your bike. I love my bike and ride it often, but I don't delude myself into somehow thinking that everyone ought to ride a bike, or that the rabid interest in bikes in Portland is anything but, say (to throw out a random figure) roughly 75 percent about being fashionable, hip, and cool, and maybe 25 percent about sustainability (side note—I'd like to conduct a sociological study on Portlanders comparing the number of bike-related tattoos with the number of tattoos that explicitly endorse environmentally sustainable behavior... okay, not really, but still, it'd be kind of interesting to know the answer to that one). I don't know for sure, but sometimes I get the feeling that the biking community in Portland is ultimately concerned more with obtaining the status for Portland of the most bike-friendly city in the world, rather than actually cultivating a diverse set of sustainable transportation options that can accommodate ALL of Portland's citizens.

-posted by Snagglepuss

WORST OF THE WORST

I think I have read just about every issue of the Mercury since it began being published (don't make fun of me... I'm a shy and sad person who doesn't talk to other people at pizza shops/bus stops/brew pubs/free health clinics and therefore needs something to occupy themselves with... I said don't judge me!) and yet I don't remember any one of these covers ["The Best and Worst Mercury Covers So Far!" Feature, Jan 6]. Does that mean that every one of these is the worst Mercury cover? No, because I remember the worst Mercury cover. I don't remember the exact issue or year. But man did that fucking cover suck.

-posted by zakkpants

WELL, WHICH ONE is it, zakkpants, you G-damn tease? Powell's City of Books has its retrospective of every Mercury cover ever up through the end of the month, where you can purchase a print of the faves (and least faves) of your choice to benefit the Independent Publishing Resource Center. In the meantime, enjoy two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, by way of apology for whatever that terrible cover was.

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