It's nothing new, middle-class urbanite liberals like Mr. Humphrey look at rural people as backward and ignorant and ridicule their beliefs. This is classist. Not very "leftist" if you ask me.
THE POPE AIN'T ALL BAD
DEAR MERCURY: I understand, and agree, that the late Pope was strangely hardcore in his opposition to gay marriage, reproductive rights, and issues like women in the priesthood, but I think the constant pope-bashing in which the Mercury is engaging is showing you to have as narrow a view as the religious right whom we all hate. --As he got older, JPII's opinions definitely got more right wing on those issues, but this is the same man who did so much for solidarity in Poland, and spoke out to our President(s) many times about how America was acting on a world stage. --Instead of acting like the hate-mongering right, you should consider those facts and even have the maturity to admit that those you disagree with, like the Pope, aren't always pure evil. --
A DIFFERENT KIND OF PRAYER
TO THE MERCURY: Anonymous' prayer was nice, but try this one ["Letters", April 14, in which Anonymous asked us to accept Jesus into our hearts]:
Say "Dear Jesus, I'm really sorry you died so a bunch of people could use you as leverage. I'm also sorry that a book you are featured in has caused so many people to think backwards. When you read the book you can tell you were a progressive, liberal minded individual. The weird part is that the people who thump that book on everyone's head are the exact opposite from what you tried to teach them to be. Oh, and remember how you hated institutionalized religion? Well, you're the biggest institution going right now. Egg on your face, huh? Long live Zombie Messiahs and their flesh-eating, blood-drinking followers."
APPRECIATE THE HIPPIE!
TO THE EDITOR: you all bash the hippies, kinda weak! [Again, we don't know what this is in direct reference to… but we do hate hippies.--Wm. Steven Humphrey] if it hadnt been for the hippies you punks would be shoveling shit in a rice paddy in the new China. which would be all of asia if if wournt for the hippies the damm vietnamm war would still be going on. and yea also, your a snob and you make a big deal out of grammar and spelling yet I think that you All miss the main point of the exercise which is to convay a message… so print that and try to humiliate me with your excepinal grammar skills because I dont particularly care if you like the way I spell. Have a real nice day !
WRONG WAY WHINERS
DEAR MERCURY: Here's what makes me want to tear into another 30-pack of Milwaukee's Best; when pussy-ass little low-level criminals start whining about getting tickets from traffic cops [News, "Wrong Way," April 14]. Don't want to get a traffic ticket? Act like you got some sense and don't park the wrong way, which can--turn into--a real bitch when you try to blindly pull out into oncoming traffic (actually, that sounds kind of kinky). If you break a traffic law, be ready to pay a ticket and quit your bitching. --If I'm ever out prowling cars, I'm only going to smash-and-grab from cars parked the wrong way, then when the underfunded cops that you don't trust can't help you, I'll laugh my ass off because you were too cheap to pay your ticket and--too stupid to obey the law.
CONGRATS TO KURT for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week," which includes two tickets to the Laurelhurst and two passes to see Rasputina at Dante's on May 10th. KURT FOR MAYOR!