Illustration by BT Livermore

THE TWO REPUBLICAN PARTIES

RE: "Can the Republican Party Become Less Bigoted?" [Blogtown, Nov 9], in which Sarah Mirk speaks with Republicans on election night, and wonders if they can actually change.

The conundrum is that the only "Republican" people who want to take such social-moral stands go into the political realm. The rest just want government out of the way. Thus you have two parties—one who wants government to dictate finances and morals, and another that wants just wants to dictate morals.

-posted by D

Don't get your hopes up on Republicans reaching out to the LGBT community. They don't need to, and they know it; most of that community isn't likely to vote for them whatever happens. They do however need to reach out to women and/or immigrants. Put your money now on Ricky Rubio being their nominee in 2016.

-posted by Stu

You know, I for one appreciate it when tools like Mssrs. Akin, Mourdock, et al., explicitly state what much of the Republican Party actually feels. Usually they do it through coded language (and certainly the laws they tend to pass reflect this), but only some are dumb enough to actually say it.

-posted by Rich Bachelor

Will the Republican Party become "less bigoted" in the future? Stranger things have happened. After all, liberals now support imperialist wars, the silencing of whistle blowers, the NDAA, torture, NSA spying, GMOs, and an infinite black hole of debt to finance all of it.

-posted by Spindles

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CHIHUAHUA IN THE FACE; KNIFE IN THE GUTS

RE: "Robbery Interrupted" [Feature, Nov 7], in which author Denis C. Theriault catches two thieves (and their Chihuahua) trying to rob his house.

Glad it all worked out, Denis, and that you weren't hurt—as you said, things could have ended quite differently. That Chihuahua could have been tossed in your face as a knife went into your guts! Jokes aside, glad it went the way it did.

-posted by Jake

You should have offered to let them pay for their offense by cleaning your basement instead of wussing out and calling the police. You could have paid them 20 bucks each, without having to get your hands dirty. It would have been worth it—not to mention, making new friends, bolstering their self-esteem, and keeping your own pride.

-posted by Solomon

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SHOCK TO THE HEART

RE: "Man Almost Dies after Tasering, Struggle; Cops Give Him CPR" [Blogtown, Nov 9], in which Copwatch's Dan Handelman comments on the police Tasering a suspect (reportedly under the influence of meth, and carrying two knives), who almost died.

It's a much easier stance to criticize Taser use by police AFTER it has occurred than to have an effective stance on when is an acceptable time and place to use a Taser—or if the use of Tasers should be an outright ban altogether?

A cursory browsing of Portland Copwatch did not reveal a specific stance on Tasers (i.e., whether they should be banned outright or any specific standard operating procedures a police officer should follow in order to be justified in using Tasers).

I think a meth-head with felonies under the influence of drugs who's threatening people with deadly weapons is probably a justified case.

-posted by WS

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TAKE MY ROOMMATE... PLEASE!

RE: "Feces: For a Brighter, Whiter Smile!" [I, Anonymous, Nov 7], in which the anonymous author complains of a roommate that smacks their lips and hangs underwear on the towel rack.

I would take that over my current roommate who didn't pay full rent this month and still has a whole arsenal of annoying habits... or my last roommate who threatened to kill me, among other things. To Anon: Treasure this benign domestic clash, for the time will come when you'll have a roommate so reprehensible that you'll see fit to name one of your anal polyps after them.

-posted by YadaYadaYeah

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WHERE'S MY GWAR? PUSSIES!

RE: A nonexistent article about GWAR (AKA the greatest band in the known universe), which we never wrote because apparently we are pussies.

TO THE MERCURY: How could you not promote GWAR, the greatest live band in the known universe? Pussies! I'll  be there!

-Isaac Hudson

ACTUALLY ISAAC, you're the derogatory term linked with kittens and female genitalia! Because while you were watching those pudding-faced, fancy-lad dandies in GWAR, we were watching something TRULY frightening: Disney on Ice! (Oh, the horror... the horror!) Nevertheless, we're gonna award you the Mercury letter of the week and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater—maybe they can make a man out of you.