ME, JESUS, AND YOU 

Christian Guidance for Today's Misguided Christians

Today's Topic:
So You Want to be an Agnostic?

Today I received this letter from a confused young woman:

Dear Rev. Hanson: I am an eighth-grade girl from Gresham, and I used to believe in God 100 percent, but lately I'm just not so sure. Life is so uncertain, and so many unfair things happen, and there are lots and lots of really mean people--especially in Gresham! My belief in God is down to about 65 percent and falling.

Today I met some people who call themselves Agnostics, who told me that it's okay not to be sure about the existence of God but I'm not even sure if it's okay to not be sure! I'm so confused. They seem like nice people, but I don't know if they're telling the truth. Am I normal? Is it okay to not be sure?

Eighth-Grade Girl From Gresham

Dear Eighth-Grade Girl: How can you doubt that God exists after all He's done for you? Don't forget, the Lord gave you your youth, your intelligence, and your beauty. And, the Lord can take these things away, too.

There's a great big difference between sometimes privately not knowing if there's a God and going around telling people you don't know. The path of faith is no stroll in the park on some well-marked walkway, trailed by curious ducks. Sometimes, the path of faith is more like wandering home late at night after a pep rally and taking a short cut through an unfamiliar neighborhood with a paper bag over your head. Sometimes, you don't know where you are, or where He is, or why you can't see anything. Sometimes it's the meanest people in Gresham who trail you--drug pushers, hoodlums, and "pimps"--not ducks. Sometimes you hear gunshots, or derisive laughter. But do you take that paper bag off your head? No--because HE put it there!

It's often said that with Jesus you never walk alone. For me, that's certainly true. Jesus and I are such good friends that if ever I feel lonely, lost, or afraid, I don't hesitate to call Him on that cell phone in my heart. And He always answers, and He always has time to talk. (In fact, sometimes Jesus calls ME for advice. As I am His servant, I try to steer Him right.)

But for normal people like you, faith is not so easy. Maybe you've been trying to call Jesus all week, but you only get His machine. Or perhaps the Lord only gave you His pager number. His ways are mysterious, but don't be offended. He isn't avoiding you, He's just very, very busy, talking to His many, many friends.

Don't forget, Christianity is the number one most popular religion in the world--that makes Jesus Christ the number one most popular person in the world! So, if you want to be popular, you'd better try to be a better friend of Jesus, and stop telling lies about Him.

Remember: JESUS RULES THE SCHOOL! If you befriend those "groovy" agnostics, you'll never get to hang out with Jesus and His cool friends in that pearly-gated mall in the sky, shop with His gold card, or borrow His Lexus. Instead, you'll burn in HELL, which is a lot like the eighth grade, but lasts for all eternity! You've been warned.

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