Mercenary for Awesomeness 

Give Steven Seagal an Oscar Already!

The back of Steven Seagal's latest direct-to-DVD classic, Mercenary for Justice, says it all: "Soldier of fortune John Seeger (Steven Seagal) is the best in the business... the business of kicking ass!" Truer words have never been written, at least on a DVD box. If I had to sum up Mercenary for Justice in two words, they would be "kick ass." If I only had one word, it would be "Seagal." Because that's really all you need to know: Mercenary for Justice is a movie, and it has Seagal in it.

Okay, so even after watching the film, I'm not precisely sure what Mercenary for Justice is about. I did figure out that Seagal's character is a mercenary who slaps people and slams guns into their crotches. Also, he has to break into a prison! Or was it a bank? Maybe it was both. But if I did completely understand one thing about the film (by which I mean the DVD box), it's that "it's payback time, and now there's going to be hell to pay!"

Seagal makes the bad guys pay, all right—as well as forcing them to leave a generous tip! Steven Collins' screenplay will probably elicit a lot of comments—"That dialogue's horrible," "This story's stupid," "Is Steven Collins six years old?"—but if you ask me, he's a first-rate writer, if only because of the superb motto he gives Seagal's character: "Care for no one, fight for everyone." That line's great, because it really makes you think.

Ultimately, Mercenary for Justice is a film about Steven Seagal killing people, but it also might be about war and what war makes people do (blow up cars, slam peoples' heads into urinals, etc.). And even though some people say that war is hell, Steven Seagal makes Mercenary for Justice feel just like heaven.

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

From the Archives

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy