a) He replies, "Grace is hot."
b) He claims to enjoy the witty repartee between Jack and Karen.
c) He replies, "Rosaria is hot."
d) He quickly switches the channel, and vehemently denies ever watching it.

2. When you ask b-friend if he's ever "messed around with a guy," he responds...

a) "No."
b) "Yes."
c) "If they sucked my penis, does it count?"
d) "Whoa...Hey! Honey! C'mon...I mean... What? Did somebody tell you something? Oh! Well! Of course not! Penises! Ewww! Yuck! Never cared for them myself! Nosireebob! Not that I hate gays, or anything... But, brrrrrrrrr! Ick! Nope, I'm a vagina man, myself! Ha! Ha! Hmmmm..."

3. When you ask b-friend if he's interested in anal sex, he responds...
a) "What...Me sticking you?"
b) "Really?? You sticking me?"
c) "Sounds good. I'll break out the G.I. Joe."
d) "I am interested... but my boyfriend's working tonight."

4. If b-friend's best buddy were to suddenly come out of the closet, he would...

a) Respond violently.
b) Respond violently towards you.
c) Weep.
d) Have no response (but you wouldn't be surprised if you caught them in bed together a few weeks later).

(check all that apply)

_Dress better than you?
_Excel at ice skating?
_Have a "pet name" for his best buddy?
_Own a mesh shirt?
_Own a "VH1 Divas Live" CD?
_Smell good?
_Wear a Speedo?
_Wear a Speedo with a rainbow on it?
_Subscribe to a gardening magazine?
_Currently have a cock in his mouth?

SCORING:

In Section A: A = 1 point, B = 3 points, C = 2 points, D = 5 points. In Section B: Three points for every item checked.

7 Points or Less: Your man is not gay. In fact, he's so not gay, he sounds like a meathead. Dump him.

8 to 14 Points: Your man is potentially gay, or at least has gayish tendencies. But as long as you take him shopping and buy a copy of the videotape Bend Over, Boyfriend, everything should be hunky-dory.

15 or above: Whoooo! Whoooo! Here comes the gay train! Better help your b-friend pack his bags, because he's leaving Girlopolis to become the newest resident of Gaytown, USA!