THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3

Whitey McConnaughy's been photographing bands for 18 years, but he's never had a formal show of his work—until now. The exhibit promises subjects as diverse as Wesley Willis, Turbonegro, and the Exploding Hearts, and the opening night party should generate some photo ops of its own, with music from LA's Tweak Bird and Seattle's Visqueen. AH

w/Ancient Age; East End, 203 SE Grand, art opening 7 pm, FREE; music 9 pm, $6

Those who say classical music is for wussies are about to get schooled—the Oregon Symphony's Waterfront Park performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture includes real live cannons, bitches! And violins and stuff, but whatever. SM

Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito, 7 pm, FREE, all ages

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4

The smart folks over at the Doug Fir are having not one, but two shows featuring Starfucker, a favorite with the kids. For those of you cranky-pants who have a bedtime, there's an early all-ages show, followed by a boozy set for the old geezers. Both will be amazing, sweaty dance fests and one of your last shots at seeing Starfucker in Portland for a while. TPK

w/We All Have Hooks for Hands, Deelay Ceelay; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, early show 5 pm, $10, all ages; late show 9 pm, $12, 21+

Eeney, meeney, miney, mo... trying to pick a Friday night dance party? Nightclubbing's got you covered with tonight's installment, featuring the only West Coast appearance of Prins Thomas, the influential disco revivalist who came all the way from Oslo. Don't let it slip through your fingers. MS

w/Linger & Quiet; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $10

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

You are not dreaming. It was not aliens. Farmers really did carve an entire elaborate Portland Trail Blazers logo into a giant field of corn on Sauvie Island, creating the pinnacle of man's artistic achievement: the amazing Blazers Maize Maze! Special Trail Cat appearance today only! SM

The Maize, 16511 NW Gillihan, 10 am-10 pm, $5-7

Scaly critters get a bad rap, and are often unfairly feared and misunderstood. Open your mind this weekend at OMSI, where the Reptile and Amphibian Show will introduce you to over 100 snakes, lizards, and more, including an opportunity to handle some of the friendlier ones. MS

OMSI, 1945 SE Water, Sat Sept 5-Mon Sept 7, 9:30 am-7 pm, $9-11 ($2 on Sun)

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6

Once again certifiable badass—really, he's got the certificate and everything—John Reis leads his magnificent rock ensemble the Night Marchers back through Portland. You might know Reis from his work in Drive Like Jehu, Rocket from the Crypt, or Hot Snakes, but the man still has plenty of jagged rock 'n' roll left in the tank. Beware. EAC

Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 8 pm, $10-12

In local legend/drag queen Darcelle's modest pageant to find out who's the "best female impersonator in the world," contestants will be judged in four categories, including a themed competition called "Out of this world... a glamorous odyssey." MD

Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK, 6 pm, $35

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

Don't worry, Vivian Girls didn't really grow up. Sure, their sophomore album Everything Goes Wrong is more ambitious and polished than their debut, but their intoxicating blend of lo-fi, punk, and girl group is still as snotty and potent as ever. NL

w/the Beets, Eat Skull, DJ Dog Daze; Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 8 pm, $8-10

Remember back when Yeah Yeah Yeahs played Meow Meow? My, we were all so young and attractive then. But while we've hit the wall, Karen O & Co. still strut and howl just like they did back in the earliest days of the aughts. Tonight, YYYs will take you back to the olden days while simultaneously giving a whole new generation a taste of the most captivating live band around. EAC

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $25-28, all ages

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

Reggie Watts is a total freak. He's hilarious, he's inscrutable, he mixes comedy and beatboxing with his own operatic vocals to truly stunning effect. Who knows what he'll deliver tonight, but one thing's for sure—you don't want to miss it. AH

w/Rory Scovel; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $15

There are "jam bands," and then there is Akron/Family. Sure, they may be wading barefoot in the hippie end of the musical pool, but when a band plays with this much energy, elasticity, and creativity, the result is a joyously experimental celebration of folk, rock, noise, and just plain ol' weirdness. Let that freak flag fly. NL

w/Evolutionary Jass Band, Datura Blues; Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $15

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

If you're like me, you simply CANNOT GET ENOUGH PAUL GIAMATTI! American Splendor! John Adams! Sideways! Shoot 'Em Up! Motherfuckin' Planet of the Apes, motherfucker! IF IT'S GOT PAUL, I WANT IT ALL!!! So you can imagine how stoked I am about Cold Souls, in which an actor named Paul Giamatti (played by Paul Giamatti!!!) gets his soul stolen and has to get it back—from a talentless Russian soap opera actress! Who, unfortunately, is not played by Paul Giamatti. Ah, well. I WILL STILL BE THERE OPENING NIGHT. EH

Fox Tower 10, 846 SW Park, see Movie Times for showtimes, $8.50-10.50

Inspired by heroes like James Baldwin, the protagonist of the rock musical Passing Strange leaves America for Amsterdam in hopes of finding himself and his art. Spike Lee filmed the show as it finished a much-lauded, Tony-winning run on Broadway. With music and story by Stew and Heidi Rodewald of the Negro Problem. PAC

Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, 8:30 pm, $8