THURSDAY, MAY 20

GONNNNG!—Tonight The Gong Show returns to Rotture, with ex-pats from Sissyboy hosting a frantic, no-holds-barred amateur talent show that'll be judged by my hilarious, intelligent, and attractive bosses, Wm. Steven Humphrey and Marjorie Skinner! With plenty of other guests—including members of the Sprockettes—this'll be one hell of a night, and all the proceeds benefit Outside In. EH
w/Darkcloud, Jimme Jamma, Stormy; Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5-10 (sliding scale, all proceeds go to Outside In)

PRESSURE DROP—One of the true originals still standing, Toots and the Maytals are going strong after nearly 50 years, a happy reminder of the pleasure, power, and potency of reggae music. With the soulful-voiced Toots Hibbert at the helm, the Jamaican titans are still sweet and dandy enough to render any contemporary wannabes obsolete. NL
w/Sierra Leone's Refugee All Stars, Jujuba; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $22, all ages

FRIDAY, MAY 21

NOT QUITE MUPPETS—Ever wonder what Sesame Street would've been like if your favorite characters belted out profanities and hooked up with each other? Well tonight's Puppet Slam, an event featuring puppets with potty mouths, will probably be as close as you're gonna get to that dream. ND
Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 7 pm, $7

PLANTIMALS—Ready to let your tender little existence be absolutely devastated by yet another stellar group of gorgeous-voiced Canadians? Sure, why not? The music of Montreal's Plants and Animals is dramatically arranged with tiny bursts of spectacular flair. You might need a buddy to scrape you off the floor when this trio is finished playing, but that's what friends are for. EAC
w/Lost in the Trees; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12

SATURDAY, MAY 22

WE LOVE PCP—The Portland Cello Project has taken a couple approaches to bringing orchestration to the masses. There are covers of Britney Spears, but there are also some heart-stopping collaborations, which will be at the fore tonight, with the likes of Laura Gibson, Sallie Ford, and more. MS
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $13-15, all ages

PING-PONG PIE—What happens when Stumptown Underground releases their ninth zine on the same day Whiffies Fried Pies celebrates their one-year anniversary? Pie-eating contest and ping-pong tourney, bitches! Eat it. Read it. Bring it! PAC
Cartopia, SE 12th & Hawthorne, 6-9 pm, FREE

SUNDAY, MAY 23

LAPIDUS!—Jin is a bad ass! Lapidus is a bad ass! Jack is a sally! Join Cort and Fatboy as they host the (hopefully) mind-blowing series finale of Lost, when all of your questions might be answered. And remember to yell "what the fuck?!" at the end of every scene, because what the fuck?! Lost is so confusing! BT
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, FREE

LADY CIRCUS—There's no shortage of erotic circus-themed activities in this town—for better or worse—but Circus Artemis stakes out different ground: The all-women show emphasizes the sheer athleticism of its stilt-walking, aerial-dancing, trapeze-swinging performers. After a sold-out run in October, Circus Artemis moves their new production to a venue with higher ceilings, which can only mean great things. AH
Staver Locomotive, 2537 NW 29th, Fri 8 pm, Sat 2 & 8 pm, Sun 2 & 7 pm, $15-20 (kids under 12 pay their age)

MONDAY, MAY 24

INDIE KINGS—No wonder tonight's Broken Bells show is sold out. Danger Mouse and James Mercer's brooding pop duo make indie kids shit themselves just from pure anticipation, and the pairing of kings will not disappoint. SM
w/the Morning Benders; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8 pm, $30-34, all ages

SIDEWAYS STORIES—Children's author Louis Sachar might've hit the jackpot with Holes, but he'll always have a special place in my heart for writing Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Tonight, he reads from The Cardturner, in which a junior high schooler gets drawn into the game of bridge. Naturally, there's a pretty girl involved, too. EH
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 7 pm, FREE

TUESDAY, MAY 25

CAGED BIRD SINGS—The Finches are comprised of the enigmatic Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs, alongside various backing musicians over the years. Fans of Alela Diane and Laura Gibson will surely fall head over tail for the wondrous folk sounds of this California trio, making tonight's intimate show all the more special. EAC
w/Key Losers, Nervous & the Kid; Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 9 pm

FECES—If you spent your childhood (or last weekend) picking scabs and poking sticks at dead things, this week's OMSI Science Pub, themed "What's Eating You: People and Parasites," should be right up your creepy, dark alley. The evening includes a former parasite host, over-sharing for your entertainment. JV
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 7 pm, $2, all ages

WEDNESDAY, MAY 26

BEAVERS VS. DUCKS—You're seething with hatred for either the Beavers or the Ducks. In fact, you hate one of those teams SO MUCH, you simply cannot wait until the next Civil War football game. That's why you should attend this Baseball Civil War featuring the Oregon Ducks and Oregon State Beavers baseball teams. No, it's not the same. But you must channel your hatred somewhere. WSH
PGE Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 6:30 pm, $5-35

CARI-BEATS—Canadian electronic musician Dan Snaith—better known as Caribou—has just thrown fans a curveball with Swim, a rave-happy, acid-dipped, chillwavy club record that's packed with some of the most undeniable beats around. Snaith's trick, though, is in writing great songs to weave through these backdrops; tonight Caribou's gonna host the thinking person's dance party. NL
w/Toro y Moi; Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 9 pm, $13.50-15, all ages