Before Cat Stevens went goofy, he recorded nine phenomenal songs for the 1971 film Harold and Maude, a classic black comedy with a well-deserved cult following. Tonight a live orchestra will accompany the screening of the film at the Hollywood Theatre, and you're going to want to be there. MV

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7 & 9 pm, $10 (w/a can of food)

It's a double header of Swedish music tonight, with fashion-plate pop songstress Lykke Li still riding high on a splashy international wave. But don't miss (and ignore the name of) openers Wildbirds & Peacedrums—you might find an export you like even better. MS

Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th, 9 pm, $18-20, all ages

Love to sing and need some dough, but don't feel like getting humiliated on American Idol? Join Karaoke from Hell every Thursday for the next seven weeks for their karaoke contest! Belt out the best song of the night, and you could win cash, prizes, and possibly go on to compete in their "Super Contest Night" in March! WSH

Tiger Bar, 317 NW Broadway, 9 pm, $3


Tonight's the first night of the PDX Jazz Festival, which continues through February 22, and there are all sorts of goings-on about town, not the least of which is a swingin', honkin' set from the legendary Dirty Dozen Brass Band from New Orleans. NL

w/Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, Pimps of Joytime; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 9:30 pm, $20-30

Greg Dulli and Mark Lanegan? On the same stage? At the same time? For the sake of all things holy and pure, should these two alt-rock icons be allowed to join forces as sinful supergroup the Gutter Twins? In addition to being totes BFFs, Dulli and Lanegan are still two of rock 'n' roll's finest showmen. They don't make them like they used to. EAC

w/Happy Chichester; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 10 pm, $17-20

David Mamet plays are known for being darkly written examinations of the male psyche, and Romance, his madcap courtroom farce playing tonight at Theater! Theatre! is no different. A clever satire of the playwright's own profane style as well as a sly commentary on the transparency of the truth, this is one of Mamet's most underappreciated productions. MV

Theatre Vertigo at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont, 8 pm, $15


You can't keep a good devil down, apparently, because the Murder City Devils are back, along with memories of broken glass and fake IDs at the old-school Satyricon. Heavy on rock, and heavier on drama, let's hope nothing else has changed. MS

w/Past Lives, Cap Lori; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 9 pm, $20, all ages

The Doug Fir has a very special Valentine's surprise for you, with a secret, swoon-worthy headliner for tonight's show. We can't say who the local star is, but let's just say you'll be among the first to hear songs from his brand-new album, which comes out in a matter of days. Can't stand the suspense? Hold on; you'll find out in good time! NL

w/Musee Mecanique; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10-12

Happy Sesquicentennial, Oregon! You don't look a day over 130. Hop over to the Oregon Historical Society and enjoy free admission, cake, and guest speakers. Then hoof it over to the Krakow Koffeehouse for a pierogi cook-off. Who knew the state was built on a foundation of Polish pastries? PAC

Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park, 10 am-5 pm, FREE; Krakow Koffeehouse, 3990 N Interstate, 12:30 pm, FREE, w/Gentle Rain Jazz Quintet


Lauren LoGiudice hails from New York, and her multimedia, multi-character performance Queens Girl depicts her journey beyond the boroughs to her flamboyant coming out as a female drag queen (i.e., a lady who dresses up like a fancier lady). AH

Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 9 pm, $8-10

Screw candlelit dinners and chocolates—the real way to show that special someone how you feel is with automatic weapons and model trains! Luckily for you, both are on display at the Rose City Gun and Knife Show and the Great Train Expo this weekend at the Expo Center. Thrill to conspiracy theorists with Magnum .45s! Delight to middle-aged men dressed as conductors running little toy trains! This, my friends, is romance. EH

Portland Expo Center, 2060 N Marine: Rose City Gun and Knife Show runs Fri noon-7 pm, Sat 9 am-6 pm, Sun 9 am-4 pm, $9-21; Great Train Expo runs Sat-Sun 10 am-4 pm, $7 for both days

February in Portland sucks. It's cold and your Valentine doesn't eat candy unless it's gluten- and dairy-free. So instead of moping alone, celebrate Portland's winter misery as part of an annual 3,000 person, 18-mile Worst Day of the Year Bike Ride! SM

Lucky Labrador Brew Pub, 915 SE Hawthorne, 10 am start, $35-40 registration


It would be enough to insist you go to this show based on the Golden Bears alone; their folksy-proggy rock is like a bedtime story, combining surreal adventure with tranquility. Throw some other incredible local bands on the bill—Sad Horse, Hungry Ghost, and the expansive skronk of the Evolutionary Jass Band—and you have zero excuse to stay home. NL

East End, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, $6

One of the first films to employ CGI technology, The Last Starfighter is a culty blast from the past. Lance Guest stars as a trailer park kid who uses his wicked hot skills at the videogame Starfighter to fight the very evil and very alien Ko-Dan Armada! Ooh, I hate those guys! WSH

Alberta Street Pub, 1036 NE Alberta, 9 pm, FREE


Once a staff writer for The New Yorker and now an "entertaining provocateur" and political poet for The Nation, Calvin Trillin is one of those writers for whom other writers will skimp on their monthly whiskey budget to afford a ticket to see in person. SM

Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $27-58

It's common knowledge that MSG is bad for you, but Valentine's is hosting a healthful night of curveball comedy music by MSG (the alter ego of Tim Wenzel of Shicky Gnarowitz), and Hutch of the Thermals will be along to guest on a few songs and will—no joke—be ribbon dancing. We shit you not. NL

w/Mattress, Graves; Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 9 pm, FREE

Why watch cerebral, Oscar-nominated movies about men on steroids with platinum hair pretending to brutally beat the shit out of each other when you can just watch the real (fake) deal? MD

Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $20 & up


Now you can check out great rock photography while dancing to music with drink in hand! At Pop Shots, local photographers show off a selection of musician photos, with lively beats from Boy Eats Drum Machine, Lovers, and Ley Lines. KP

w/DJ Kev; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $6

Storytelling series Back Fence PDX invites Portland's brightest stars to tell true, unrehearsed stories in front of a live audience—and tonight sees perhaps the shiniest star of them all. Mercury Music Editor Ezra Ace Caraeff may be best known for his curmudgeonly reviews of your favorite band, but don't be fooled by his reputation as a misanthropic hatemonger—that ill-tended beard hides a silver tongue. AH

w/Jeff Baker, Jordi Barnes, Vanessa Veselka, Anis Mojgani, Heather Strang, Brad Fortier; Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 7 pm, $10-12

Best known for Killer of Sheep, which documented life in Los Angeles' Watts ghetto in the 1970s, legendary filmmaker Charles Burnett appears at PNCA tonight as part of the Cascade Festival of African Films, for a conversation about his 2007 documentary Namibia: The Struggle for Liberation. AH

PNCA Swigert Commons, 1241 NW Johnson, 7 pm, FREE