SEXY SCIENCE!—Sex sure seems like something louts do, with all that sweating and grunting and moaning. But even nerds do it. Because it's actually quite scientific. OMSI: After Dark has a whole buffet of sexy learning on tap tonight—digging into the relative alchemy of lube, pheromones, and vibrators. And that's not counting trivia, storytelling, and dancing. Learn something, and then try it out! DCT
OMSI, 1945 SE Water, 6 pm, $13 ($7 for members. Get it? "Members.")

READING—As an odd youth growing up in a suburb, reading Armistead Maupin's wildly entertaining Tales of the City series introduced me to a vibrant reality that existed outside of my homogenized world. So it was with heavy heart when I learned Maupin is hanging up this heartfelt, hilarious saga with his newest (and last) installation, The Days of Anna Madrigal, documenting the perhaps final road trip for 28 Barbary Lane's beloved transgender landlady. WSH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE


COMEDY—There are few local shows as much fun as the live talk show Late Night Action, hosted by comedian (and Mercury columnist) Alex Falcone! Tonight, Falcone's guests include experimental rockers Sama Dams and Matt Fraction, the writer behind the fantastic comics Hawkeye, Casanova, and Sex Criminals. EH
Secret Society, 116 NE Russell, 8 pm, $10-15

MUSIC—Ernest Greene is Washed Out, and I mean that in a good way. The Georgia-based maestro has evolved beyond the realm of chillwave to make lush, gorgeous mini-symphonies of pop that ooze into the ear like delicious aural syrup (that's Washed Out's "Feel It All Around" playing over the opening credits of Portlandia). NL
w/Kisses; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $16-18, all ages


COMEDY—He's more metal than you. Brian Posehn's also a damned lick more funny, too. The heavy-metal aficionado is an affable, lumbering funnyman guaranteed to kill his stand-up set. Don't miss The Sarah Silverman Program actor, who will undoubtedly tell stories of sci-fi, nerdery, and pot, and it will be great. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $18-30

MINI GOLF—Everyone likes putt putt! Throw some wacky holes and booze into the mix and you have an evening of winter fun. Pop-up mini-golf course Smash Putt sets up residence in Old Town's long-empty Royal Family Ginseng Plaza Building for the next two months, with holes that promise low-riders, lasers, and unicorns. Bring a drink caddy! CF
140 NW 4th, opens Fri, through end of March, for ticket and time info, 21+


FILM—Earlier this month, legendary Chinese film producer Run Run Shaw died at age 106, after making everything from kung fu classics (The One-Armed Swordsman) to mind-twisting sci-fi (Blade Runner). Tonight, the Hollywood pays tribute to Run Run Shaw with a movie marathon: 1977's monster flick Mighty Peking Man, followed by two mystery movies from Run Run Shaw's catalog! Plus, every film is on 35mm, and features vintage trailers! EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $10 for all three films

STORYTELLING—Jezebel's Lindy West is one of the funniest, smartest writers out there, and she's resolutely feminist whether writing about misogyny in pop culture or why Love Actually is a terrible movie. She's telling a story at tonight's installment of Back Fence PDX, along with Mitchell S. Jackson, whose novel The Residue Years should be required reading for Portlanders. AH
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 8 pm, $13-20, 21+


FOOTBALL—Sure, Super Bowl XLVIII will be a depraved wallow in organized violence and glamorized commerce, and you are absolved from caring. But there's also Pacific Northwest pride on the line this year, with the Seattle Seahawks in the running. Plus there will be hot wings all over the place, and probably an assortment of chili-based dips, too. It's a tough call. DVH
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan; White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th; your favorite sports bar, 3 pm, FREE

MUSIC—With equal footing in blues rock and psychedelia, White Denim is full of moments that sound parallel to familiar, but just when you think you're predicting what comes next, songs like those on the new LP, Corsicana Lemonade, shift in more unique directions. And onward we go, into the soulful and exploratory. MS
w/Clear Plastic Masks; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15


MUSIC—New York emcee Action Bronson sounds like Ghostface Killah and has the same gift for dazzling, rapid-fire bombast. This is enough reason to check out tonight's show, but it is the wrong reason. Bronson's gritty, lazy-quick preposterousness deserves to be enjoyed on its own merits, and they are legion. DVH
w/Party Supplies; Peter's Room at Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $20, all ages

FILM—Iranian writer/director Asghar Farhadi took an Oscar in 2012 for A Separation, and his latest, The Past, capitalizes even more effectively on his best qualities, which give interpersonal mysteries epic scope and integrate international relationships with an observant nonchalance—and the sum makes him one of the most sophisticated dramatists working today. MS
Various theaters, see for showtimes


MUSIC—Once a month, Red Bull Sound Select plops the best bands in the Northwest into the intimate Doug Fir basement for a mere three bones. Next up are three of Portland's best: the shimmering Helio Sequence, the cavernous rock of Genders, and the burning-soul folk-rock of Modern Kin. Be sure to RSVP for cheap tix! NL
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $3 w/RSVP at

READING—The Soft Show reading series is an innovative pairing of authors and illustrators—writers read their work, while artists create live, on-the-spot illustrations, projected for all to see. This month's lineup is stacked with local lit hotshots, including novelist Kevin Sampsell, Somnambulist creator Martha Grover, and the IPRC's Justin Hocking. AH
Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont, 7:30 pm, FREE