MUSIC—We're getting freaky in this month's installment of the free Ear Candy concert series. Sam Coomes' aptly named Deep Fried Boogie Band will hit your Blue Cheer sweet spot, and they're joined by Audios Amigos' post-apocalyptic surf rock, and Dewey Mahood (Plankton Wat) playing experimental drone in his Spectrum Control guise. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE

SOCCER—Soccer City USA finally has the ultimate chance to prove its quality: The MLS All-Star Game isn't just about the best of the MLS taking on FC Bayern Munich. It's also about Portland proving to the world there ain't a single city in America as batshit insane about their footy as we are. BR
Providence Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 6:30 pm, $183 & up


HIKING—Paul Gerald's welcoming, knowledgeable guidebook 60 Hikes within 60 Miles: Portland is your best bet for enjoying the summer away from the city—and tonight, he's appearing at Powell's Books on Hawthorne to celebrate the book's latest edition. Here's your chance to pry open his brain for secret tips and overlooked trails. EH
Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 7:30 pm, FREE

PUPPETS—Many people have a natural skepticism of puppets; I sympathize. But Katie McClenahan has been throwing clever and delightful grownup-oriented puppet shows in Portland for years now—so we trust that her new show, Pop + Puppetry, which features collaborations between puppeteers and pop bands PWRHAUS, Sara Jackson-Holman, and Mojave Bird, will be something special. AH
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $8


MUSIC—If this lineup—Panther, Copy, E*Rock—makes you feel nostalgic, congratulations. You've scored another point in the "I'm so Portland..." game. On the other hand, these are some of the acts that built the reputation this city thrives on today, so come party like it's 2004... in a good way. MS
Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9:30 pm, $8

FILM—As part of their great "Wes' World: Wes Anderson and His Influences" series—the NW Film Center is screening The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou! Bill Murray! Jeff Goldblum! Cate Blanchett! A murderous jaguar shark! David Bowie in Portuguese! This movie is fantastic and great and funny and sad, and it'll be introduced by Oregonian film critic Marc Mohan on Friday night. EH
Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, Fri 8:30 pm, Sat 5 pm, $9


STORIES—The Mystery Box is a storytelling show that invites locals to share true, hilarious, gross, honest stories about sex. Tonight's lineup includes Mercury Editor in Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey, who promises to tell a story so secret, so shocking, that it's never before been heard by human ears. AH
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7 pm, $14-16

MUSIC—When tonight's show was first announced via the automated ArtistData service, someone in Whitey Morgan and the 78's crew monkeyed around with the entry form, claiming the act on stage would be Bob Seger. That wasn't true, but Flint native Morgan is pretty damn close, embodying Michigan rock 'n' roll steel by way of Waylon Jennings, resulting in heartland honky-tonk that has both twang and bite. NL
Dante's, 350 W Burnside, 9 pm, $10


BIKE RIDE—Unless you're on the losing end of a police chase, you'll never have the opportunity to ride your bike on the freeway. That's where the Providence Bridge Pedal does you a solid. Ride across the upper decks of the Fremont and Marquam Bridges—along with many others—on this fun and popular bike outing. Also, don't plan on driving your car across a bridge today, because no, that's not going to happen. CF
Providence Bridge Pedal, starts at SW Naito & Salmon, $30-60 (12 and under FREE), for times and routes

MUSIC—Dropping Gems, the Portland electronica label, somehow manages to make analog cool again, every summer, with their annual Gem Drops cassette-tape compilations. This year's the fourth one. And the release party, if you can hack it, will amount to seven hours of back-to-back DJ sets at White Owl Social Club—from the likes of Natasha Kmeto, Ghost Feet, Philip Grass, and more. DCT
White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th, 3-10 pm, FREE


BURGER WEEK—Following last year's smashing success, the Portland Mercury (along with Nicky USA, Widmer Brothers Brewing, and Jim Beam) hosts the return of your tummy's favorite seven days of the year: Portland Burger Week! This year, a whopping 20 awesome restaurants will be serving specialty, one-of-a-kind, delicious hamburgers for only FIVE MEASLEY BUCKS. WSH
Various locations, Portland Burger Week on Facebook, Mon Aug 11-Sun Aug 17, $5 each

MUSIC—Your summer loses a couple of points if you don't take in at least one show on the lawn at Edgefield, and Portugal. The Man's gently psychedelic pop neo-classics are a fine complement to the gently psychedelic aesthetics of all finer McMenamins establishments. MS
w/Grouplove, Tokyo Police Club; Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, 6 pm, $39-43, all ages


MUSIC—Last time I saw Tom Petty he was about half-an-inch tall... because I was so far away from the stage. But Petty and his Heartbreakers sounded fan-fucking-tastic. I suspect he's still going to look teensy-tiny at the Moda Center, and he'll probably still sound as good as ever. Hell, the man's a living legend. And I'm sure all the back-catalog faves will come out to play tonight. CF
w/Steve Winwood; Moda Center, 1 Center Court, 7:30 pm, $41.50-127, all ages

FILM—Let us guess: You're still young, but old enough that you should be making concrete, deliberate progress in your life, right? But instead you're bunking with a family member, getting trashed, and wondering what it all means? Anna Kendrick feels your pain, and her mumbly journey in Joe Swanberg's film Happy Christmas may well prove cathartic. DVH
Cinema 21, see Movie Times, also available via On Demand, Amazon Instant Video, iTunes