WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22

BEER—Hood River's pFriem Family Brewers make a host of exceptional beers (I would happily drown in vats of their Wit and Belgian Strong Dark ale), and tonight they invade North Portland, taking over the taps at the Old Gold for a single evening. There will be small-batch rarities, whiskey-and-beer pairings, food specials, and—yeah—really, really good beer. NL
The Old Gold, 2105 N Killingsworth, 4 pm

READING—The Oatmeal, known to his mother as Matthew Inman, has collected all of his web comics about the most masochistic of endeavors in The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances. Need I tell you of these stories' hysterical attributes? Probably not... the Oatmeal be hella popular with his twisted sense of humor and wicked way with a word. You should probably go and laugh a lot. CF
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE, all ages

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23

MUSIC—It's time to gambol down memory lane with a double bill of pop masters from the past. The Psychedelic Furs have soundtracked all your favorite films (hello, Pretty in Pink and Valley Girl!), and Richard Butler's deep croon still stirs the prom-goer within us all. Evan Dando and the Lemonheads open—hopefully with a load of sugar-spun gems from their great 1992 album It's a Shame about Ray. CF
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $35-38, all ages

JACK-O'-LANTERNS—If there's one thing the Mercury loves, it's making a mess, which is why we're your perfect hosts for a boozy pumpkin-carving contest! Take your costume out for a dress rehearsal, use your squash-transforming skills to win big prizes, or just spectate and drink "creepy" cocktails. You're not scared, are you? MS
W/DJ Ronin Roc; White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th, 6-9 pm, FREE to attend, $12 to compete

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24

BOOZE—EAT A SOLID MEAL before you even think about buying a ticket to the Great American Distillers Festival. Hoochmakers from all over the country will be sampling out their vodkas, rums, bourbons (and more!) over two days, along with panels, competitions, and other excuses to get your buzz on. MS
Leftbank Annex, 101 N Weidler, Fri 5-10 pm, Sat 4-10 pm, $20-25

MUSIC—They're calling it Boo Bomb, but it's really a late-'90s hiphop mixtape given physical form. T.I. headlines a roster featuring bona fide hitmakers E-40, DJ Quik, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Juvenile, Ja Rule... hell, even Sir Mix-a-Lot will be servin' up some buttermilk biscuits. Feels goooood! BR
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 7 pm, $20-85, all ages

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25

FACIAL HAIR—The World Beard and Mustache Championships used to be an every-other-year affair. America's most-zealous purveyors of ridiculous "freestyle chin-beards" and "Hungarian mustaches" would traipse off to Europe or Alaska, and mostly get trounced by Germans. This year marks the beginning of a yearly championship and—surprise!—it's at the Keller. This time, friends, it's for the money. DVH
Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 1 pm, $10

COMICS—Portland's got a ton of comic book shows, but Frankenstein's Comic Book Swap is a standout—instead of costing a fortune and focusing on cosplay instead of comics, Frankenstein's costs ONE MEASLY DOLLAR, takes over the charming Eagles Lodge, and features collectors selling their beloved comics, toys, movies, and weird old crap. It's a friendly, low-key, and fantastic affair; chances are you'll walk out with a few bizarre finds you'll love more than life itself. EH
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, noon-6 pm, $1 ($5 early bird admission at 11 am), all ages

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 26

MUSIC—Maybe the best thing about Yelle—French electropop darlings who found themselves even more famous after a weird Katy Perry remix—is their apparent refusal to sing in English. Yelle's insistence on French makes perfect sense layered atop their campy stage presence and synthy, Euro-style disco beats—so perfect it would be jarring and gauche if they ever switched. DCT
w/Lemonade; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8:30 pm, $18-20, all ages

MUSIC—On her 2014 album The Future's Void, EMA—AKA Portland-based musician Erika M. Anderson—explores digital culture, social media, and its attendant isolation. Anderson marries conventional rock sounds and punk rawness with alternately warm and harsh digital timbres, resulting in harrowing music of pure emotion. Get in front of it tonight. NL
w/Magic Mouth; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $12-14

MONDAY, OCTOBER 27

COMEDY—Late Night Action, the late-night talk show co-hosted by Alex Falcone and Bri Pruett, continues tonight with appearances from Patrick Rothfuss, author of the high fantasy, doorstop-thick trilogy The Kingkiller Chronicle, KGW news anchor Reggie Aqui, and comedian Kirsten Kuppenbender, with music from Portland's own kindhearted jokesters, bookworm-folk duo the Doubleclicks. MB
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $10-15

FILM—Few action movies get as good of a buzz as the Keanu Reeves revenge flick John Wick—but when it screened a while back at Fantastic Fest in Austin, it reportedly blew the goddamn roof off the theater. Seeing Keanu fuck up some dudes like he hasn't done since the first Matrix? SIGN ME UP. EH
Various Theaters, see Movie Times and our review

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 28

MUSIC—It's been six months since beloved Canadian duo Chromeo last came to town, spraying fire-hose-velocity disco-funk onto your sullied dancing shoes so they gleamed and twirled and hot-stepped like a brand-new pair, only all that hot-stepping just sullied the damn things all over again. Six months. DVH
w/Wave Racer; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $28-30, all ages

FILM—There's no better way to get ramped up for Halloween than with the Hollywood Theatre's Hammer Horror Double Feature—featuring two classic Hammer flicks on 35mm! 1971's Twins of Evil and 1969's Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed both star Peter Cushing, and both are going to be super fun. Bonus: The Hollywood promises "35mm blasphemous, satanic horror trailers before each movie." EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Twins of Evil 7:30 pm, Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed 9:30 pm, $8