COMEDY—She blasted onto the national consciousness with a set about being diagnosed with breast cancer, and had to cancel her sold-out show in November because of a ruptured cyst. But comedian Tig Notaro isn't going to let a little sickness stop her at this rescheduled show. Her sets are as healthy as a horse with wonderfully awkward moments. MS
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $25, all ages

BASKETBALL—Even though sports fans twitch at the mere presence of a Los Angeles team in our city limits, Blazers vs. Clippers never hits the frothy rage that a Lakers game incites, although the Clips are legitimately good, and one of the biggest obstacles to a Blazers championship. Maybe it's because the words "The Clips are legitimately good" will never not sound like science fiction. BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $20 & up, all ages


THEATER—One of last spring's most clever shows returns for a fun second season. It's Sidekicks—Action/Adventure Theatre's twisted take on the superhero genre (with the Merc's own Noah Dunham). In an alternate-universe Portland, a group of not-so-superpowered sidekicks do all the grunt work for their not-so-heroic bosses. (Sound familiar?) The show is serialized, running for four consecutive weeks, so don't miss any of 'em! WSH
Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton, Thurs-Sun, 8 pm, through Feb 8, $12-16

READING—Matt Love's new creative nonfiction book Rose City Heist recounts one of the biggest jewelry thefts in Portland's history and how he and a friend were the prime suspects in the crime. Still unsolved, the statute of limitations has run out on the 1993 case, and in this book he finally confesses, spilling his guts about what really happened. CF
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE


MUSIC—Tennis' songs are like a glassy/soft/rhythmic time machine that floats you back to all the best and sweetest make-out sessions you ever had. Maybe it's because Tennis is a husband-and-wife duo who met in college and started playing music after a sailing trip. Maybe you shouldn't think about it too much and just enjoy the feels. DCT
w/the Shilohs; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8:30 pm, $14-15, all ages

MUSIC—You've seen the mysterious flyers and heard rumors about the late-night flash dance parties. So just what is this whole Magic Sword business, anyway? It's costumed pranksters from Boise making electro-future dance rock, with gleaming synth orchestrations that would make the end credits of Blade Runner weep with envy. They've just released an album and comic book, so tonight's the perfect night to unravel the mystery. NL
w/Copy, Cuff Lynx; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10


NEO-NOIR—In 1973, Robert Altman took a crack at Raymond Chandler and made one of the greatest films of the '70s: The Long Goodbye, starring Elliott Gould. The NW Film Center is screening it tonight—and in a nice coincidence, the very Long Goodbye-ish Inherent Vice, directed by Altman's protégé Paul Thomas Anderson, is also screening in town. See 'em both. EH
The Long Goodbye at NW Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park, 7 pm, $8-9; Inherent Vice at various theaters, see Film Times

ANNIVERSARY—The Know's 10-day-long anniversary party kicks into high gear for its penultimate day, with an afternoon record swap next door, plus a rockin' evening set from Paul Collins Beat (the Nerves, the Beat) with the Mean Jeans in tow. Better put your ya-yas back in now, 'cause they're definitely gonna need to come out tonight. NL
Record Swap w/Jenny Don't and the Spurs, DJ Calli Danger at American Legion Post 134, 2104 NE Alberta, 3-7:30 pm, FREE, all ages; Paul Collins Beat, Mean Jeans, the Rich Hands, Psychomagic, & more at The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8 pm, $8


MUSIC—The dark, quiet winter nights don't need to be lonely when you can gather 'round the glow of Big Haunt's gently macabre folk repertoire when they release their new EP tonight. Alongside them will be Old Wave, who're also releasing a new record, their debut of carefully balanced, storytelling arrangements. Warm your hands! MS
w/Luz Elena Mendoza; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $5

DOGS—Dogs! Dogs, dogs, dogs! Dogs are the only creatures on this planet worth a goddamn, and at the annual Rose City Classic Dog Show, there are A BILLION DOGS. Dogs! Dogs in agility contests! Dogs doing tricks! Dogs acting up! Dogs you can pet! Lonely people dressing up dogs in humiliating costumes! A showcase of weird dogs that look weird! Dogs! Humans are garbage compared to dogs! EH
Portland Expo Center, 2060 N Marine, Wed 7:30 am-7 pm, Thurs-Sun 8 am-6 pm, $10, all ages


WORDS—Who knows, right? After years of frustrating latency, maybe spelling skills were only waiting for a night in depressing January to issue forth from you like a verbose Niagara, like a bespectacled rainbow phoenix. There are no bragging rights like spelling bee bragging rights, so head down to Dig a Pony for the monthly Amazing Stumptown Spelling Bee, and roll those dice. DVH
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 7 pm, $5

FILM—In Selma, director Ava DuVernay takes on the 1965 Alabama marches for voting rights led by activists including Martin Luther King Jr. Much ink has been wasted on her (mild) depiction of LBJ; more deserving of our attention is her willingness to dig into the very real violence of the Jim Crow-era South and the complicated work of political strategy. MB
Various theaters, see Film Times


MUSIC—Patti Smith is a goddamned national treasure. Not only is she a kickass musician, she's also an artist, poet, and a celebrated memoirist of her friendship with artist Robert Mapplethorpe in Just Kids, a book that won her the National Book Award. She's also a style icon for the ages. Don't miss her—she's a real-life Wonder Woman. CF
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8:30 pm, $35, all ages

BOOKS—Writer fight! David Shields is often spoiling for one. His 2011 manifesto, Reality Hunger, was a knee to the groin for traditional fiction, and I Think You're Totally Wrong finds Shields debating Caleb Powell over what matters more: life or art. At tonight's battle, friendships may be ruined, and one thing is almost certain: Jonathan Franzen will be shit-talked. DESERVEDLY. MB
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE