Celebrate the 14th year of PICA—Portland's foremost facilitator of contemporary art—at this birthday bash where you can punctuate your oh-so-relevant revelry with prizes like free tattoos and passes to the mighty Time-Based Art Festival! MS

w/Strength, Point Juncture, WA, Lovers, DJ Girlfriends; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $7

The Peanuts crew finally hits puberty in Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead—a black comedy that imagines the high school turmoil of Charlie, Lucy, & Co. AH

Coho Productions at the Coho Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, Thurs-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, through August 1, $20-25


Patterson Hood is more than just the raspy-voiced frontman for the Drive-By Truckers—he's a songwriting machine. DBT's album-a-year pace is evidently not enough for the man, so now Hood is rolling through town in support of his latest solo album, Murdering Oscar (And Other Love Songs). But don't expect weepy ballads here, as his solo work is just as rock and roll—and soulful—as his other material. EAC

w/the Gourds; Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 8 pm, $15-17

Back before we made the somber discovery that the loins of Indiana Jones had squirted out Shia LaBeouf, we met one of the adventurer's far-cooler relatives: Professor Henry Jones, better known as SEAN FREAKING CONNERY. Tonight, Connery and Harrison Ford team up in 1989's classic Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade—which is screening for free, outside, at Pioneer Courthouse Square! EH

Pioneer Courthouse Square, dusk, FREE


It's the Mississippi Street Fair, guys! Don't miss this all day celebration of arts, crafts, beer, music, salted ice cream, and bouncy castles! Then dash down the street to Pix Patisserie's Bastille Day Block Party, which will feature wine, 5K runs, bike scavenger hunts, the waiter race, and poop-tons of great music! WSH

Mississippi Street Fair on Mississippi between N Fremont and Skidmore from 10 am-9 pm; Bastille Day Block Party on Failing between N Vancouver and Williams from 11 am-11 pm, both FREE

In the epic dance-a-thon/turntable battle Prince vs. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop will face off with the Purple One... from beyond the grave! This shit is so next level, you won't even care that you already know who won. HF

w/DJ Dave Paul, DJ Indica Jones; Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 9 pm, $6

For its first-ever flea market, the parking lot of Voodoo Doughnut Too is sure to be filled with all the craptacular doodads and knickknacks you crave! (I'm praying for bootlegged kung-fu classics and old comic books.) PC

Voodoo Doughnut Too, 1501 NE Davis, 10 am-4 pm, FREE


Behold NE Sandy: the treeless ambience, the town's best dive bars.... Today, Everyday Music celebrates some much-needed Sandy pride, bringing together neighborhood businesses Black Sheep Bakery and Voodoo Donuts to cater an in-store performance from The Builders and the Butchers! SM

Everyday Music, 1931 NE Sandy, 4:30 pm, FREE

Remember that kickass episode of Star Trek when Spock goes into heat, and then, when he's all amped-up and boner-fied, has to fight Captain Kirk to the death?! Witness the glory tonight as new theater company Atomic Arts presents a live performance of the classic Trek episode "Amok Time"! EH

Woodlawn Park Amphitheater, NE 13th and Dekum, Sat-Sun 5 pm, through July 26, FREE


Back in the day, Chicago-based journalist Jessica Hopper was at the helm of Hit It Or Quit It, an infallible fanzine that—more or less—set the tone and structure of modern music writing. Now she's back with her debut book, The Girls' Guide to Rocking, which aims to help establishing the fairer gender in their rightful place—onstage. Get there early and bug her about releasing a Hit It Or Quit It anthology. EAC

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

It's my hope that the beer fiends of the Pacific Northwest will fall for sour beers just as hard as they've fallen for super-hoppy brews. Get a taste of what could very well be the future craft beer trend as Belmont Station throws their 3rd Annual Puckerfest, which will feature very special kegs from around the country and right here at home. PC

Beircafe at Belmont Station, 4500 SE Stark, 3-11 pm, through Tuesday


Tonight, Pushcart Prize-winning author Colum McCann will be reading from his new novel Let the Great World Spin, about life in New York City in the 1970s. Ah, I heart NY. Wait... I love NY? Which is it? MD

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

The latest (and last?) of Sacha Baron Cohen's characters to get a big-screen adaptation is Brüno, an über-gay Austrian fashion reporter. If Brüno's recent publicity-friendly hijinx are any indication, it's safe to expect the same level of hilarity from Brüno that Baron Cohen brought to movie theaters with Borat. EH

Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes


Thinking of murdering someone? Who isn't? Learn how not to get caught with OMSI's CSI-themed lecture series! Tonight, it's forensic and toxicology expert Justin Lazenby and his fascinating lecture, "That's the Spirit: A Tale of Forensics, Court, Alcohol, and Theater." WSH

OMSI Cafe, 1945 SE Water, 7 pm, $11 admission, suggested $2 donation for lecture

Oh, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, it seems like only yesterday that your album Twinkle Echo got me through another agonizingly depressing day of high school. Tonight, Casiotone—AKA former Mercury intern Owen Ashworth—soothes your heart with a cozy dose of synth from his latest release, Vs. Children. PG

w/Cryptacize, the Righteous and Harmonious Fists; the Artistery, 4315 SE Division, 8 pm, $6-8, all ages