WEDNESDAY, MAY 13

MUSIC—It seems strange to suggest that one of the most influential artists in the history of Portland hip-hop comes from Vallejo. But even Cool Nutz could tell you (and you can ask him yourself, he's playing this show) that E-40, the sleepy-eyed slang machine from the Yay Area, is a funk-bumpin' behemoth in the game. BOBBY ROBERTS
w/Stevie Stone; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $25, all ages

FILM—Oregon has its very own Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, according to Oregon history enthusiast Diane L. Goeres-Gardner, and she'll be at OMSI to talk about the pair, who are named Tracy and Merrill. Her lecture starts at 6:30 pm, followed by a Q&A, and a showing of the film Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, starring Robert Redford and Paul Newman. SHELBY R. KING
OMSI's Empirical Theater, 1945 SE Water, 6:30 pm, $6-7

THURSDAY, MAY 14

LECTURE—Philip Glass is a world-renowned composer who's penned symphonies, operas, and film scores that heavily influenced the sound of modern-day classical music. With his much-awaited memoir, Words without Music, Glass proves he's also a skilled storyteller. The composer sits down with Portland Opera's Christopher Mattaliano for a discussion about his life in music. SHELBY R. KING
Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $39.95, all ages

DIRTY MOVIES—For three glorious days, Cinema 21 will be hosting the pinnacle of human achievement: the Best of HUMP! Featuring 18 classics from previous HUMP! festivals, you'll thrill to these hilariously fun five-minute dirty movies filmed by you (or maybe someone you know). Nothing's as good as laughing and squealing along with a theater full of sex-positive people... so don't miss the fun! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, Thurs-Sat, see humptour.com for times and tickets

FRIDAY, MAY 15

FILM FEST—Since 2007 the Portland Queer Documentary Film Fest (QDoc, if you're nasty) has been screening informative, fascinating, and entertaining documentaries about and directed by the LGBT community. This year sees a host of filmmaker appearances and movie subjects as diverse as MMA fighters, Tab Hunter, and the mystery of JT LeRoy. It's a cornucopia of curated cinematic treats. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, Thurs-Sun, $8-10 per screening ($75 fest pass), queerdocfest.org

COMEDY—It takes no small amount of chutzpah to name your podcast Never Not Funny, and it takes real skill and smarts to live up to that name. Jimmy Pardo delivers all those things at a blistering rate of speed; this isn't so much stand-up as it is a mile-a-minute conversation with a crowd happy to ride his comedy roller coaster. BOBBY ROBERTS
w/Jon Schabl, Alex Falcone; Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $20-28

SATURDAY, MAY 16

COMEDY—AAAAAUUUUUGHHHHHHHH! Delightfully shouty-mouthed comedian Bobcat Goldthwait is comin' to town, and though he's become (a little) less shrill in his old age, he's just as weird, with interests in Bigfoot truthers (?) and filmmaking. He probably won't deliver this set from inside a shower, but there's no saying what else might transpire. MEGAN BURBANK
Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside, 8 pm, $30-50

PARTY—It's PICA's big 20th anniversary, so naturally they're having a party (see Arts, pg. 39), but I'm talking about the afterparty. White Hinterland will play, Beyondadoubt and Cooky Parker will DJ, plus a costume contest, food carts, a "bizarre bazaar," and so much more! MARJORIE SKINNER
w/Pepper Pepper; The Redd, 831 SE Salmon, 9 pm, $25

SUNDAY, MAY 17

MUSIC—For their new album, Darling... It's Too Late, Guantanamo Baywatch have toned down some of the surf-punk sleaze and let their songs shine: immaculately stoned candlelit ballads, vintage leather-jacket jukebox rockers, forgotten spaghetti western overtures, and weenie-roast party starters—all of which can be heard at tonight's record release party. NED LANNAMANN
w/the Bugs; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $5-6

COMEDY—Not to be creepy, but comedian Emily Heller's signature deadpan (it's been described as "feminist slob poetry") makes me wish she were my best friend. Heller was the warmup comic for Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, and a true inspiration to the world's joyful premature spinsters and young ladies with attitude problems—just the thing to soothe us post-Bridgetown. MEGAN BURBANK
w/Zak Toscani, Caitlin Gill; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $13-15

MONDAY, MAY 18

MUSIC—For this month's installment of the free 'n' local Ear Candy music series, your pals at the Mercury and Mississippi Studios have put together a brutally loud bill, headlined by heavyweight stalwarts Diesto, whose earth-rumbling doom rock depicts a molten wasteland where the almighty riff is despotic king. NED LANNAMANN
w/Sioux; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, FREE

FILM—Ordinarily I'd say "go ahead" to rolling your eyes at another blockbuster that would rather regurgitate something they already know you like instead of coming up with an original idea but HOLY SHIT the new Mad Max: Fury Road looks amazing. Apocalypse now! Apocalypse now! MARJORIE SKINNER
EVERY THEATER EVERYWHERE, see portlandmercury.com/movietimes

TUESDAY, MAY 19

MUSIC—Attention nerds! Your literary overlord commands your presence in Beaverton. Snow Crash author Neal Stephenson has been cranking out baroque sci-fi epics for eons. Maybe not that long, but he's paid his wordy dues, and he's reading from his newest, the futuristic Seveneves, out in suburbia, where there's plenty of room to listen to expansive tales of annihilation. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, Beaverton, 7 pm, FREE, all ages

FILM—You know what's still around? Rockapella, the group that used to sing nifty intros and outros on the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego kids' game show. They don't dress up like detectives anymore. Related: The a cappella underdogs from 2012's Pitch Perfect are back for more in Pitch Perfect 2—and this time they're taking on husky German stereotypes! DIRK VANDERHART
Various Theaters, see portlandmercury.com/movietimes