My, What A Busy Week! 

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17

As the Portland Trail Blazers recover from a series of devastating injuries, morale has also taken a blow due to the absence of Channing Frye. As a Blazer, Frye was a better blogger than player, but he's currently in the midst of a career season with the run-and-gun Phoenix Suns. Welcome back to Portland, Channing. Now prepare to lose. EAC

Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct, 7 pm, $35-225, broadcast on KGW

Congratulations, The Fix, you are now three years old. How are you going to celebrate your big day? By bringing in Maseo of De La Soul? For reals? That's a pretty big deal, especially when you surround him with an entire evening of bumping local and national hiphop and some DJ heroics as well. EAC

Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th, 9 pm, $10

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18

The NW Dance Project teams up with the klezmer-loving cabaret freaks at Vagabond Opera for Waltzing and Wassailing, a unique night of music and dance, with seven new works from local choreographers set to the rollicking soundtrack from Vagabond Opera's upcoming show Queen of Knives. AH

Northwest Dance Project Studio, 833 N Shaver, Fri-Sat 7 & 9 pm, $27-30

Hiphop gives back to the community with the annual Toys 'n Da Hood benefit concert tonight! Get up on the get down with Tragedy, Cool Nutz, Knothead, and more as they get that ass swangin' while raising money and gathering toys for the disadvantaged! WSH

Berbati's Pan, 10 SW 3rd, 9 pm, $10 (free w/a new unopened toy)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19

Your last name doesn't have to be Palin to enjoy motorcycles on ice. This dirt bike/speed skating hybrid is the most fun redneck Christmas celebration Portland has to offer. What, you too proud to watch a Zamboni ice over a stranger's teeth, city boy? DB

Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 7:30 pm, $15-40 ($10 kids 2-12)

Spending $20 to watch a radio taping you can listen to at home isn't always a justifiable splurge, but this week's Live Wire! is a hot ticket. The intelligent banter of headliner John Darnielle (from the Mountain Goats) is worth the price alone: He's like Ira Glass, if Ira traded in his glasses for a guitar. SM

w/Nurses; Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 8 pm, $20-30, all ages

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20

First there was one, now there are two, and soon there will be zero. After a fantastic run as Portland's finest elasto-electro-soul duo, it's Panther's very last show ever in the world, so make sure you say a proper goodbye. No tears, now—be strong. NL

w/Patterns; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE

The third annual "Queer Quistmas" (say that five times fast) is back with Fannie Mae Darling (of Sissyboy fame, of course) ringleading a bawdy variety show, featuring performers like multi-talented drag artist Kelly Moe. Expect the unexpected dildos. MS

Mississippi Pizza Pub, 3552 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $3

MONDAY, DECEMBER 21

For millions of Americans, Christmas means watching John McClane yippee-ki-yay Hans Gruber in the face and a blurry-eyed Billy Bob Thornton bangin' skanks like tambourines. And if that doesn't deck your halls, Pix is showing the hilarious 1985 mega-flop, Santa Claus: The Movie. Let chocolate and free movies warm you up. DB

Bad Santa (8:30 pm) & Die Hard (10:30 pm) at Boxxes, 1035 SW Stark, FREE, 21+; Santa Claus: The Movie at Pix Patisserie North, 3901 N Williams, 8:30 pm, FREE

Robbie Fulks might be a modern Chicago man, but he's got one foot firmly entrenched in the brawling tradition of country and blues (and he's more often associated with the villain city of Nashville—see "Fuck This Town"). Look for what you love about the old guard, updated with certain contemporizations (like atheism). MS

Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $15

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22

Christmas traditions: putting lights on the tree; giving Oprah's latest book-club selection to your stepmother; watching a psychotic Santa gruesomely murder people. One of the holiday season's grandest rituals, Silent Night, Deadly Night is here again thanks to the Grindhouse Film Festival, with a 35mm print of the 1984 slasher classic on the big screen! It's traditions like this that makes us love Christmas. EH

Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:45 pm, $7

Local label Amigo/Amiga celebrates the season with two excellent acts from their small but impressive roster: Both Kelli Schaefer and Drew Grow and the Pastors' Wives create spellbinding folk-rock, and tonight they're each releasing a new single. A portion of the cover charge goes to Oregon Food Bank, and there'll be a donation box for canned goods as well. NL

w/the Beauty; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $5

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 23

Awwww yeah! The Heathman Holiday Tea is in the hizzy, yo! Mad hungry for some Parisian Opera Cake and special tea blendz from Fonte Coffee Roaster? Get up in this bitch and kick it like a Red Coat! PAC

Heathman Hotel, 1001 SW Broadway, daily at 11 am, 1 & 3 pm, $32

Don't sit out Sita Sings the Blues, a stunning animated musical version of ancient Hindu epic the Ramayana. Filmmaker Nina Paley laces the marital woes of two gods-incarnate with hilarious narration, 1920s jazz vocals from Annette Hanshaw, and the story of Paley's own failed coupling for a creative, personal, and visually dazzling story. JC

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 7 & 9 pm, $6, see Movie Times for more showtimes

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