AUNTIE CHRIST—A couple days before Record Store Day officially hits, the one and only Exene Cervenka rolls through town for a rare in-store performance on the balcony inside Music Millennium. Battling multiple sclerosis, Cervenka tours less than she would like, but she still has that captivating voice and energy from her days with X. EAC
Music Millennium, 3158 E Burnside, 7 pm, FREE, all ages

WANNA PLAY?—One of the most anticipated movies of the year, the gleefully violent and darkly hilarious Kick-Ass follows a nerdy kid who decides to become a superhero—but unlike Peter Parker, this dweeb has jack shit for superpowers. The flick opens Friday, but's Cort and Fatboy are hosting what's sure to be a boisterous sneak preview—and if you come dressed as a superhero, you'll score free popcorn and soda! EH
Roseway Theater, 7229 NE Sandy, 10 pm, $7


CINEMA DU BIKE—It's one of the truly great bike parties of the year! The Filmed by Bike Festival is a weekend-long celebration devoted to short flicks about—you guessed it—bicycles. And while the films may vary in quality, one thing is for certain, the opening night block party on Clinton Street (complete with DJ Anjali, the Incredible Kid, and beer) is gonna be an absolute throwdown. WSH
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 5:30-11 pm, party FREE, Fri show $8-15, Sat-Sun shows $7, cash only,

BUSTED!—For four years now, Lauren Weedman has been performing her one-woman show Bust about her experiences volunteering in a Southern California prison. She's an engaging and exhilarating performer whose story hits the perfect note between theater and honest storytelling. SM
The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, Fri & Sat, 7 pm, $17-20


REAL FOOTBALL—While the Portland Timbers are still 50 weeks away from being "on the world's pitch" and joining ranks with Major League Soccer, that's not going to stop the team—and their mighty Timbers Army—from kicking off their season against those feisty Rochester Rhinos tonight. EAC
PGE Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 7 pm, $12-30

VINYL REVIVAL—Happy third annual Record Store Day! Celebrating independent record stores across the country, local music shops are taking part in the festivities, offering special in-store performances, limited vinyl releases, and fun for audiophiles of all ages. BT
Various locations, info at

GET LOOSE NOW!—DJ Mr. Jonathan Toubin is known for single-handedly revamping NYC nightlife with his fun/sweaty New York Night Train Soul Clap dance parties. Tonight he spins through Portland once again with his bottomless crate of dirty soul 45s, as well as a midnight dance-off judged by our own Marjorie Skinner and... Dave of Dave's Killer Bread? Oh, I will be there! WSH
East End, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, $5


HORSELESS—Bike polo is exactly like horse polo, but with beater bikes instead of ponies, cut-offs instead of cardigans, and Hamm's on the sideline instead of fine wine. Thirty teams from around the region (and Canada!) converge for the Oregon championships for your cheering pleasure. SM
Rose City Park, NE 62nd & Tillamook, Sat & Sun, noon-8 pm, FREE

WIZARDS—The second annual Portland Pinbrawl will jack up the fingers of some of the best 'ballers in the country, all for a Johnny Mnemonic pinball machine made by Williams—26 pinball games, 128 players, one ultimate champion. PAC
Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch, registration at 10 am, starts at 11 am, $20 (FREE to watch)


SAY YEA—With second album Odd Blood, Yeasayer have fully embraced the synth-wrapped '80s-funk sound they'd previously been hinting at. Be sure to arrive in time to catch opener Sleigh Bells, who bring a fat-bottomed, full-tilt dance party to your face—and all the other parts of your body. NL
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9 pm, $15-18, all ages

MELT—Global warming was a controversial idea 20 years ago when Bill McKibben first wrote about it—and for some reason, it still is. Recently, McKibben led the movement, and now he's giving a lecture about what's next for our percolating planet. SK
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $24 (includes copy of book)


A BRIGHT FUTURE—The highly anticipated, self-titled debut LP from North Portland's electro-dance favorite Guidance Counselor will be unveiled tonight! Dance moves will be busted and large pairs of eyeglasses will be paired with post-ironic mustaches, equaling nothing less than a guaranteed rad time for anyone in attendance. MH
w/Astrology, Fake Drugs; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $5

STARS 'N' STRIPESDeer Tick make rock 'n' roll that's as American as apple pie, canned beer, and pickup trucks. But don't mistake the Providence band's heartland sound for flag-hoisting faux country—they've got both smarts and soul, and frontman John McCauley's whiskey-soaked voice is wise beyond his years. NL
w/Dolorean, Holy Sons; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $13-15, all ages


NIGHT OF LAUGHS—Next week, comedians from all over will invade Southeast Portland for the Bridgetown Comedy Fest. Think of tonight's show—which spotlights local comedians performing at Bridgetown—as a chance to establish a base tan for the cruise of hilarity Bridgetown is going to take you on next week. AH
w/Richie Stratton, Virginia Jones, Cody Smith, Nathan Brannon; Tiger Bar, 317 NW Broadway, 9 pm, $5

GHOSTFACE—The Grindhouse Film Festival's impressive "Revenge of the Old School Kung Fu Masters" series wraps up tonight with the crown jewel of the series: 1979's The Mystery of Chess Boxing, which follows the verbally abusive villain Ghostface Killer as he goes on a killin' rampage! The kung fu classic teaches that kung fu isn't so different from chess—FINALLY, CHESS IS GOOD FOR SOMETHING! EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7