Thursday 12/27

DJ--It's the most fun to go to new clubs, especially when you're the only one who knows about them and they're really cool. So here's one to know about. Madame Butterfly, the new, downtown swank bar that's all about cute waiters, DJs a-spinning (tonight Venom 3 will be spinning Downtempo Darkness), and dim lighting. Check it out--they're brand new and already they've booked acts as rad as The Sensualists, Auditory Sculpture, and E*Rock. KD

Madame Butterfly, 425 SW Stark, 525-0033, 11 am-2:30 am, DJs 9pm-close

Friday 12/28

HARDCORE--Portland hardcore is boiling beneath the surface, I swear. And why wouldn't it be, with so many people unemployed and pissed off? Go see locals Inked in Blood and Violet, and release all those aggressions from too much family time. KS

It's a Beautiful Pizza, 3341 SE Belmont, 233-5444, 6 pm, $2

HIPHOP--Charts don't mean shit, so who cares that Blackalicious is currently number one on the CMJ hiphop charts. What is important is that the Gift of Gab and Chief Xcel have such loose grooves and tight mixing, you'll want to kiss your showgoing neighbor out of pure joy. It's the crowd that proves the love, isn't it? JS w/Lifesavas, Pale Soul, DJ Wicked

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 225-5555 ext. 8811, 8 pm, $13-15

Saturday 12/29

THEATER--Don't miss seeing this 21st Century Funhouse of parody. Through performance art and theater, The House of Cunt becomes a range of characters from old lounge singers, rockstars, and other pop culture relics from the '70s. Plus, there's a lot of nudity involved. Take your parents and scare them right out of town. JUSTIN S.

House of Cunt at Coho Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh, 232-7072, 10:30 pm, $12

BULL RIDING--Eight seconds seems like an eternity when you're riding a bucking, 2000-pound bull. The toss and pull has about as much force as driving a VW bug into a brick wall. But somehow these cowboys pull it off with cool and elegant aplomb. Nationally ranked local rider Ross Coleman will compete--he's the one wearing a cowboy hat, with a cool arch of his back and a flailing arm. PB

Rose Quarter, 1 Center Ct, 797-9704, Fri-Sat 7 pm, $13-79.50

Sunday 12/30

FILM--If you loved Rushmore and worship Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson (Heart), and Ben Stiller, see The Royal Tenenbaums. A dark comedy with genius set design, expertly acted by Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston and the rest, the film takes itself seriously and then laughs about it. Don't worry, Gwyneth doesn't have to act much, but looks really hot. Undoubtedly the best film of the year. KS

Theaters Everywhere

PARIS--If you are under 21 and didn't get to see the wonderful Blak Scienz Tribe the first time, here's your chance, as they headline an all-ages hiphop extravaganza. Even if you're old as Methuselah like me, I still heartily recommend the venue and this show, because there's a good energy about the Paris, and it's also sort of entertaining to think that you probably look ancient to most of the people in the room. JS

W/ Sick Mediks, DJ Biggs, DJ Audio, Lucky 1 Conscious, Emenence, Itrans, K.C.
Paris Theater, SW 3rd & Burnside, 224-8313. All ages

Monday 12/31!

MY, WHAT A BUSY NEW YEAR'S!
Compiled by Katie Shimer and Marjorie Skinner

Aladdin Theater--Pink Martini, Black Angel, 9 pm, $30
Ash Street--Dead Moon, 8 Foot Tender, The 9s, Champagne, buffet, 8 pm, $15
Berbati's--Soul Stew DJs and Hungry Mob, 9 pm, $10
Blackbird--New Rotic DJs Retrograde and Retrovirus, free
Bitter End--Freak Mountain Ramblers, 9 pm, $10
Boiler Room--Sunrise Soundlab, Soul DJs, 9 pm, $3
Crush--Champagne cocktail menu, free food, balloon drop, baby New Year spankings, 12 am Drag Queen Ball Drop
Dante's--Roger Nusic, Camaro Hair, Karaoke from Hell
Darcelle XV--Dinner and show, 6 pm seating, $60, 8 pm show, $35, 12 am complimentary buffet and champagne toast. Party favors, hats, noisemakers
Details Tea & Bistro--Urban Assassins, RSVP advance dinner purchase (5 courses meat or vegetarian), champagne toast, 7 pm, $75 dinner, $25 music only. 21 and over.
Egyptian Room--Karaoke, late night buffet, champagne toast, coffee and pastries at 2:30 am, 7 pm-4 am.
Fez--Jerry Joseph and the Jackmormons, the Drive by Truckers, the Bella Fayes, including Mexican dinner, midnight champagne toast, noisemakers, 9 pm, $50
Gemini--Jesus Presley, 9:30 pm, $10
It's a Beautiful Pizza--Cozy (live electronic), 10 pm, $2
Ohm--Dahlia, Odyssey featuring Dan Reed, Medicine Drum, Dragon Tribe, 8 pm, $25
Roseland--Sweaty Nipples, TV 616, Kinghat, 8:30 pm, $10
Satyricon--Helio Sequence, Rick Bain and the Genius Position, Temper
Saucebox--DJ Nasir, Mr. Mumu, 10 pm, $8

Tuesday 1/1

FOOTBALL--With a name like the Fiesta Bowl, you know it must be fun! Although not officially the game to determine the best college football team in the country, everyone knows this is the line-up of the year: Joey "No Heisman" Harrington leads the Ducks against the punishing defense of Colorado. PB

Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 225-5555 x. 8832, doors open at 10 am, kick-off 1:30 pm

Wednesday 1/2

NIGHT SKIING--The complaint that I have with night skiing is the same that I have with my boyfriend: they keep the lights on! I mean, who wants to look at all those bumps? But there is a solution (for both): Keep a flask tucked away and grab a nip before the long rides. PB

Mt. Hood Ski Bowl, 52 miles east from Portland along Hwy 26, 272-3206, 3 pm-10 pm, $1

ART--This is the first solo exhibit for Bay Area transplant Victor Maldonado, titled "Changing Stages." The recent art-school grad offers an impressive selection of colorful paintings and prints, which feature a cast of intriguing characters and patterns. KE

Froelick Gallery, 817 SW 2nd, 222-1142, 11 am-6 pm