FILM--Ever wish you could smell the sweat dripping from Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator? Me neither. However, that's not stopping David Yonge and his new invention, called Smell-O-Vision! Using fans, hotplates, and aerosol cans, Yonge recreates the smells of cinema while showing clips from Casablanca, The Wizard of Oz, and Cast Away. Smell what you've been missing! WSH

Mission Theatre, 1624 NW Glisan, 225-5555 x8832, 7:30 pm, $7

ELECTRONIC--Diagram of Suburban Chaos creates new language, with his recordings and beats that chirp and swallow voraciously. Each song is a little creature with its own personality, like those furry aliens on Flight of the Navigator. It's frigging awesome. JS See Music pg 19

w/N-Grava, Dampkrane;
Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $6


EROTICA--If you're into sentences like this: "Pleasure rippled through her anus like a white hot flame as she heaved with orgasm," then you'll definitely get off at this reading of the Best Bisexual Erotica 2. It's the best erotic writers of the Northwest, including M. Christian and Darklady, and it's bound to be nasty. Take a date and start the evening off right. KD

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St, 7:30 pm, free

BINARY 2--PSU is hosting a huge, fun electronic/dance/iDM hubbub starring many wonderful acts--including Kid606, Safety Scissors, Solenoid, Sutekh, J-Boogie's Dubtronic Science, Selector E-3, and OH! SO MANY MORE! Watch out, or you'll develop a computer chip in your brain! JS

PSU Smith Center Ballroom, Room 2, and Lounge, 1825 SW Broadway, 725-3307, 7 pm, $14-16, 18 and over

BIRTHDAY--It's the 5th Anniversary of Jackpot! Recording Studios! Owner/engineer Larry Crane has recorded Quasi, Stephen Malkmus, and Sleater-Kinney, among others, as well as editing the knob-jockey magazine Tape Op. The Standard, Braille Stars, and a secret mystery guest will perform. (Rumor has it, it's Geddy Lee!!!!) MS

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $7


GOTH--We all have a little goth in us. Everyone has a fascination with death, a desire to burn candles, and becomes occasionally depressed. Come on... Everyone likes to wear black once in a while! Anyway, apply your white face makeup, slide into some latex, pull out that old cape, and enjoy the dark meanderings of Sumerland and Written in Ashes at the Masquerade Fetish Ball. No industrial, just deep vocals, hollow sounds, piano, and plucked guitars. KS

Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $23

FILM--"Oh, GREAT. Another freaking movie about existentialism." Yeah, but this existentialist flick kicks ass! 13 Conversations About One Thing interweaves multiple stories about characters (including Alan Arkin, Matthew McConaughey, and Clea DuVall) lamenting the lousy hands they've been dealt. Arty, yes. But definitely not farty. WSH

Portland International Film Festival, Whitsell Auditorium, SW Park and Madison, 221-1156, 2 pm, $7


MUSIC--Holy cajones! The Lord will be happy to see so much celebration on this, his Holy Day. Tracy and the Plastics put on an other-worldly display, involving frontwoman Tracy singing along with two projection images of herself. Insecurious plays Cindi Lauper tunes, cover-style. And a Mercury melange of monkeys (who love to hear themselves perform) will be battling Blondie against Elvis Costello.

Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm


GWAR--Strangely, in college, many of my male friends still went crazy for GWAR. They'd suit up in their pink t-shirts, smoke a joint, and anxiously await the perverted theatrics, fancy costumes, and of course, blood spray. I still don't quite get it, but hey, if you love to mosh and you love to rock, and giant talking penises are your version of hilarity, then get your ass to this show. KS

w/ God Forbid, Goat Whore; Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 224-TIXX, 8 pm, $16


FILM--Do you like movies that make you feel like there is no point to life, and that all good things are simply an illusion? Wait! Don't slit your wrists quite yet, because there's one more depressing movie you've got to see. It's Todd Solondz' (Happiness, Welcome to the Dollhouse) latest. Storytelling is an interesting examination of fiction vs. non-fiction in the lives of some very confused people. KD

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, Phone, 7 & 9 pm, $6


READING--Susan Minot's novel, Rapture, navigates the sticky connections between love, sex, fantasy, and their resonance in individual mental lives. Get hot on a cold day with this mistress of erotic, graphic, and thought-provoking literature. MS

Powell's Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne, 238-1668, 7:30 pm, free