THURSDAY, MARCH 28

RAWK--Rumour is that this is Unwound's last PDX show ever. And my keen psychic powers say that you should take this seriously. Don't get too so drunk watching Friends and ER that you can't stumble down to the Blackbird for their legendary distorted rock. If you miss it, you'll regret it, especially since those are terrible shows. (But I mean, since they are new episodes and all, you could always tape them.) KS

w/ Lachrymator, Nice Nice; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $10

FRIDAY, MARCH 29

MUSIC--Hood leads us, heart first, into that special place between sleep and dreaming. Softly blending lullabies of bass and guitar, samples and electronics, full beats, tender vocals, and the otherworldly/whispered rhymes of cLOUDDEAD emcees Dose One and why?, this show should be quiet but electrifying, stripped-down, but imaginative and grand, and hugely emotional. JS

w/ Project Perfect; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9 pm, $12

PAGEANT--Omigod! Everybody in the Mercury office is about to bust a bladder over the fact that our own Katia Dunn is a contestant in the Miss Portland Pageant! You want her to win, right? Because if she wins, she'll then compete for Miss Oregon, and then Miss America! And then it's "Watch out, Katie Harmon! Katia Dunn is comin' after your ass!" Anyway, this is perhaps your only opportunity to see Katia strut around in heels and a swimsuit (and yes, she's promised to wax her cooter)! WSH

Miss Portland Pageant, PSU, Lincoln Hall, 724 SW Harrison, 725-3000, 7 pm, $10

SATURDAY, MARCH 30

ROCK--Rye Coalition is four, big Jersey dudes who look like they might be better suited to be in a steak-eating festival than on stage. Like them, their music is big and loud, and all Jesus Lizard and Zeppelin and shit. This is their first time here in awhile, so don't miss them. You never know, they might die of a heart attack before they come back. KD

w/31knots, Blood Brothers, Replicator; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy Blvd, 282-9949, $7

SUNDAY, MARCH 31

MUSIC--Pity you can't bring a bean bag and some carrot sticks to see David Bazan (Pedro the Lion), because each of his remarkably well-written songs tell a story. Maybe it's because his band is burnt out on his wacky Christianity, or he fired them all, but strangely, tonight he's sans backup. MS

w/The New Year, Seaworthy; Berbati's Pan, 231 SW Ankeny, 224-TIXX, 9 pm, $8-10

EASTER--Thank you God for not giving me lung cancer, even though I said you could, and for swaying the cops to not search my car for weed, and thank you for not making me pregnant that one time, and for holding up those charges on my account so I didn't overdraw. I will dye eggs, eat ham, and binge on chocolate bunnies in your honor. KS

MONDAY, APRIL 1

MUSIC--If I were to attempt to name-drop all the bands and musical projects which Will Oldham has been involved in, I could probably write the entire paper for a year. Just know this: Will Oldham is a god, and Bonnie Prince Billy's blend of indie/country/bluesy music is so good, you'll either cry or jump up on stage and start humping Will. Good luck. KD

w/ Entrance, RainYwood, Holy Sons; Blackbird, 3728 N Sandy Blvd, 282-9949, $12

TUESDAY, APRIL 2

FILM--In 1965, two mobster gay lovers in Argentina became bank robbers, earning themselves something of a cult following. (Jesus, where do we sign up for our own cult following?) Burnt Money is based on their true story, and has been hailed as the gay Bonnie and Clyde. MS

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, 223-4515, 9:05 pm, $6

MUSIC--Giant Sand plays swanky piano music with Tom Waits-style vocals (although not quite as grating), that is classy and dark enough to be entirely compelling. Carissa's Weird is complex and depressing, so make sure you bring four packs of cigarettes, lots of money for booze, and a shoulder to cry on if you're one of those people that gets all emotional at shows. KS

Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside, 224-4400, 9 pm, $12

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3

HIPHOP/TECHNO--Solid hiphop locals Oldominion, an emcee extravaganza, and Boom Bap Project, their Seattle pals, will join Quazar, a radi-cool techno/house group from Amsterdam. They are a talent house of keyboards and sparse vocals, and they just might be that dose of something different you're looking for. KD

w/One Man Army; Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine, 230-2111, 9 pm