THURSDAY, July 3

HIPHOP-A-GO-GO--Looking for a new sexy spin? Check out the hiphop shenanigans of former homeboy-made-good, DJ Sir Colt 45, as he returns to Portland with Hiphop-A-Go-Go. Specializing in badunkadunk dance hits (with a special love for gangster girls like Lil' Kim and Missy E) the evening will get even sexier thanks to the inclusion of the Solid Velour Dancers, who promise to be draped in "Red, White and Bling" attitude. Saaa-lute! WSH
XV, 15 SW 3rd Ave, 790-9090, 9 pm, $5

MUSIC & ART--Maija Fiebig's art looks like it's painted on silk. Silouttes of sharks or people are patterned over Japanese murals of flowers. It may sound werid, but it's really cool. And if that description alone won't get you out of the house, come see the Lifesavas. The local hiphop group will be blowing up MTV before you know it, so see them now. KS
Visage, 1046 NW Johnson, 944-5475, 6 pm, free

FRIDAY, July 4

UFO SIGHTINGS--Apparently, July 4 is also a holiday for aliens, giving them a chance to road trip to Earth. In 1947 (on July 4) there was a "visitation" to the area and AGAIN in 2002 (on July 6) there was another! While silly earthlings mill around the Waterfront Blues Festival, meet up at Portland Alien Festival. PB
Waterfront Fountain (base of SW Salmon), early evening (approximately 8 pm), for more info contact www.oregonUFOreview.com

MUSIC--Can you believe the Blackbird is THREE YEARS OLD? For three whole years now, hipsters have been standing around looking disinterested in their favorite bands while glugging down PBR and vodka tonics. I guess that's reason enough to celebrate with the mathy angst of resident Bird band 31 Knots. KS
Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 10 pm

SATURDAY, July 5

MUSIC--Gosh, isn't tonight a hecka good night to go out and see a little female pop punk? Shesus' seesawing guitars and sassy lyrics are really the ship! Actually, Shesus is not so much wary of defaming Jesus as implying that he was a she. And they say "fuck." A lot. MS
w/Starantula & The Upsidedown; Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, 226-6630, 9 pm, $5

NASTY BEATS--Do you jump at every opportunity to don the thong and drop the Florida booty bomb on the dancefloor? If the answer is YES, I think you're ready for Disco D's jelly, as he freaks the hottest ghettotech joints doused in triple-X Detroit electro and booty house. You're jinglin' baby. JS
Ohm, 21 NW 1 st, 244-4400, afterhours, $8

SUNDAY, July 6

WARPED TOUR--I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOW! But look at the awesome acts scheduled for the Warped Tour multiple stages: the hot punk of Face to Face, the emo-scream core/ex-Kelly Osbourne dating band The Used, the party-party-party antics of Andrew W.K. , the white-guilt relief of Talib Kweli, and Tony Hawk's hot-as-fuck skateboard crew. Gotta say it; "Dude... AWESOME." WSH
Columbia Meadows, 63701 Columbia River Hwy, St. Helens, OR, www.ticketswest.com , noon, $30

MUSIC--Tony's, the latest dive bar infiltrated by the likes of you and me (and anyone else who loves cheap beer), is hosting a slamming Sunday DJ Night starring DJ Marantic. Tonight he'll be playing music from Detroit. So like the White Stripes, MC5, the Stooges, Eminem, and you might think Kiss, but they're actually from New York. KS
Tony's Tavern, 1955 W Burnside, 8 pm, free

MONDAY, July 7

MUSIC--A couple of dudes and a couple of chicks make blissful, frenetic noisy pop: this is the premise of the ever-so-British Kaito. They're not singable, but only screamable, and yet beneath the screaming is a core of dance magic. How this unique combination is achieved must be seen to be understood. JWS
w/Irving, Koufax; Blackbird, 3728 NE Sandy, 282-9949, 9:30 pm, $8

TUESDAY, July 8

MUSIC--The single greatest living songwriter makes his return to Portland and you better show up this time. His last show here looked like a Ghost Town, which hurt like hell for the small pocket of lifelong fans who worship Joe Pernice of The Pernice Brothers like a cult leader. Pop music was never meant to be this smart, witty, and dark--so experience it now before Pernice hangs up the guitar and gets some cushy teaching gig at Brown. EAC
w/Warren Zanes; Lola's Room, 1332 W. Burnside, 224-4400, 10 pm, $12

WEDNESDAY, July 9

DOLLS--And we don't mean Barbie and Ken. Rather, local twisted artists Sharon Comunale, C.S. X.Stream, and John Alexander Arnold have assembled oil paintings, ink drawings, and found object sculptures of grossly deformed dolls into a "collaborative lunatic fringe." The exhibit's title, Not For Kids (Doll Art for Sickos), could not be more apt. I'm getting the shivers... but that's why I like it. JWS
Optic Nerve Arts, 1828 NE Alberta, 957-9936, through July 31

MUSIC--He comes from San Francisco and he's back with back-up dancers, thick beats, and lyrical absurdity spewing forth from his "mountains of coke." It's Topher Lafata, aka Gold Chains, and his effervescent raps bring mellifluous joy to children and adults the world over. JS
w/Ditzy Yellow Swans, Panther: Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 239-7639, 9 pm, $8-10