THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9

FILM PARTY--It's the opening night of the Clinton Street Theater's daring Portland Underground Film Festival. Catch two local documentaries and a special screening from the crazy Zoobombers, then head up the street to La Cruda for the opening night party, where you'll schmooze, yak, and trade in your ticket stubs for FREE vodka drinks! JWS
2522 SE Clinton, films begin at 7:30 pm, La Cruda party at 11 pm, $5 per screening

NUCLEAR WASTELAND--Okay, we're not quite there yet, but it's coming. That's why Mythmedia is throwing the preemptive Nuclear Winter Formal. Peep post-apocalyptic fashion with a show featuring designers like Bonnie Heart Clyde and Emily Plews, plus art, film, and DJ Makeout! MS
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $7-10 sliding

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10

FILM & MUSIC--… go together like macaroni and cheese, so check out some work by local filmmaker Matt McCormick--including his "experimental documentary" about tugboats, Towlines--as The Shins' frontman James Mercer caresses your ears with a live acoustic soundtrack. EH
Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave, 221-1156, 8:30 pm, $8

DOUBLE CD RELEASE--The Grails have returned from their European jaunt, where they spread their instrumental indie melancholy all about the continent. Now they have a new record, Red Light, their second release on Neurot. They'll celebrate tonight alongside the sweet croons of Dolorean, who also has a new one: Violence in the Snowy Fields. MS
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, $5

AIR GUITAR--Not just for teenage head-bangers, air guitar is the under-sung entertainment sibling of karaoke. At Portland's First Air Guitar Championships, you have 90 seconds to show off your hottest guitar licks. (Bring your own music.) The winner receives a cash prize and bragging rights as Portland's best air guitarist! Sick, dude! PB
Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 226-0430, 9 pm, $5

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 11

MUSIC--How to describe the lilting folk gems of Iron and Wine, AKA Sam Beam, without slipping into hyperbole? So sadly gorgeous are this man's melodies, and so smoothly do his lyrics flow, it's almost as if they were never written at all; as if, like distant stars, they have alwaysÉ just been thereÉ shining through the darkness, waiting to be found. Shit, there I went. JWS
Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd, 517-0824, 9pm, $12

PUPPETS!--Nothing better than a good puppet, especially one you've made yourself! Tonight the Mudeye Company presents its Winter Wonder Puppet Workshop, at which you and your loved ones sift through tables of recycled art supplies to craft the perfect puppet. Instructors will be on hand to guide you through it, and afterwards you can show off your handiwork at a big ol' open mic! JWS
Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, 6-8 pm, $3-5, all ages

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12

TART ANNIVERSARY--The girly Tart parties have come full circle, and it's time to commemorate! This anniversary party features a slideshow of pinups by Marne Lucas, mixed media collages, a live video projection (the "tart box," where you get tipsy and tell everyone your secrets), and dance beats by the lovely DJs K-tell, Dre, and Harmony. MS
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 4 pm - late, $5

DEATH METAL--If you like your metal no-holds-barred thrashy, then check out the return of one of the most influential death metal bands of the'80s: Slayer! Spreading chaos full-blast, Slayer may be older but they still refuse to compromise, spreading the religion of wild guitar solos, songs about dismemberment, and lest we forget--our old pal Satan. WSH
Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave, 7pm, $30, all ages

MONDAY, DECEMBER 13

PUBLIC INPUT--The neighborhood off Burnside Bridge's East end is about to undergo a major transformation. Into what? Well, that's up to you! Portland Development Commission (PDC) takes public testimony today on three proposals for the space--two include major big-box stores like Home Depot; the other is all about small, locally owned businesses and live/work spaces. Keep Portland local! Tell PDC where to shove Home Depot! PB
State of Oregon Building, 800 NE Oregon, 4-7 pm

PUNK ROCK KARAOKE--Finally! Karaoke for "normal people"! Don't miss this incredibly fun night of punk rock karaoke with a live band of punk all-stars including Greg Hetson (Bad Religion/Circle Jerks), Eric Melvin (NoFX), Steve Soto (Adolescents/Agent Orange), and Derek O'Brien (Social Distortion). They've got a huge list of pre-1983 classic punk songs, so get on stage and see what the mosh pit looks like from the other side! WSH
Bossanova, 722 E Burnside, 1-800-992-TIXX, 8 pm, $10

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 14

MUSIC/FASHION--British dubby-techno twosome Swayzak--now augmented by a full band--hits the catwalk with Ghostly International's beloved Matthew Dear (in a DJ set) for tonight's multimedia explosion, directly preceded by a holiday fashion show from local designers Seaplane, Local 35, and more. ZP
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $12

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15

SPANDEX--Ever wanted to know what Wolverine's indestructible skeleton is enhanced with? Or exactly how many clones Spider-Man has had? Well, first off--you're a goddamn geek! Second, you'd best check out this reading of The Superhero Book, an encyclopedic compendium that'll tell you everything you've ever wanted to know about comic book heroes. EH
Powell's on Burnside, 1005 W. Burnside, 228-0540, 7:30, FREE