My, What A Busy Week! 

THURSDAY, MARCH 10

NOM NOM NOM—Stuff your earholes with fine local music and cram your mouthhole with delicious treats at Holocene's Snack Attack 2011. There will be cooking demonstrations, baked goods for the noshing, plus live sets from Forbidden Friends, Guidance Counselor, and plenty more. No dancing until you've cleaned your plate. EAC
w/Unkle Funkle, DJ Snakks; cooking demonstrations from Wampire, Operative, Ilyas Ahmed; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8:30 pm, $5

...AND THAT'S NEWS TO ME—Whether its on Saturday Night Live or Weeds, the hilarious Kevin Nealon has been one of the funniest and most likeable comedians of the past 20 years. Tonight, he swings through Portland to do some stand-up! EH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs March 10, 8 pm, Fri March 11-Sat March 12, 7:30 & 10 pm, $25-35

FRIDAY, MARCH 11

BIGGIE—Pay tribute tonight to the late, great Notorious B.I.G. in the good company of the Live & Direct family, featuring Lifesavas' Rev. Shines, Slimkid3, and DJ Nature rolling out live remixes and re-edits. Plus check out live painting with Tokyo's Taka Sudo! MS
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5

SHOCK ROCK—Grace Krilanovich's debut novel The Orange Eats Creeps, a dark little horror novel rooted in the music of the Pacific Northwest, was selected as one of Amazon's Best Science Fiction & Fantasy Books for 2010... Not impressed? Okay, hipster, how about this: It's currently a finalist for the Believer Book Award. AH
w/Jarret Middleton; The Waypost, 3120 N Williams, 7 pm, FREE

SATURDAY, MARCH 12

BRAAAAAINS—Nothing beats a Saturday afternoon with real human brains! OMSI's Brain Fair (with neuroscientists, brainy exhibits, brain crafts, and, yes, real brains) is the largest "brain fair" in the country! Whatever the hell that means. SM
OMSI, 1945 SE Water, 9:30 am-5:30 pm, FREE w/OMSI admission ($12, kids $9)

FOND FAREWELL—After an amazing decade-long run, the time has come to say goodbye to the Artistery, the beloved all-ages art space that's housed countless excellent shows in its homey basement. Tonight, Little Wings is joined by Portland's White Rainbow and Rob Walmart, plus K Records honcho Calvin Johnson's group the Hive Dwellers. NL
The Artistery, 4315 SE Division, 8 pm, $7, all ages

SUNDAY, MARCH 13

LEAN, GREEN RUNNING MACHINE—30,000 leprechauns will run their merry little feet off this morning, sprinting for the end of the rainbow in the Shamrock Run. There's beer, bands, and salmon chowder for the finishers. Meetcha at the finish—in the beer garden, looking for the pot of gold at the bottom of a beer glass. CF
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, SW Naito & Pine, first race starts at 7:45 am (don't forget about Daylight Savings), registration closed

FLOCK—Not just another strummy folk-rock band, Pigeons' music grows like wild, sprawling weeds, touching different pockets of Americana with urgency and grace, as evidenced on the Portland band's splendid debut, The Talking Wire—available for free right now on the band's Bandcamp page. NL
w/Joseph Giant, Wild Ones; Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE

MONDAY, MARCH 14

MOTIVATE—Fact: You are a lazy, unmotivated sack of shit. That's why you need a panel of America's most motivated dickheads to get you off your ass and into the mindset of SUCCESS™! Get freakin' PUMPED UP by Rudy Giuliani, Steve Forbes, Laura Bush, Terry Bradshaw, and a formerly cool Bill Cosby at this daylong motivational masturbatathon. WSH
Rose Garden, One Center Court, 8 am-4:45 pm, $1.95 in advance, $225 at the door?!?

FLIGHT OF FANCY—Terry Gilliam's extraordinary 1988 film The Adventures of Baron Munchausen examines the reconciliation of fantasy and reality, and the death of imagination at the hand of rational thought. More importantly, though, it's a rousing, silly adventure, told in Gilliam's visually resplendent style. NL
Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, Fri March 11-Thurs March 17, time 9:35, pm, $3

TUESDAY, MARCH 15

DIRK DOES DALLAS—The only thing more dangerous than crossing paths with Dirk Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks is doing so in the final months of the NBA season. The Mavs are well on their way to a date with the playoffs, a destination the Portland Trail Blazers just might fall short of achieving this year. EAC
Rose Garden, 1 Center Ct, 7 pm, $15-170

SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE—If you're going to be a Robert Palmer tribute band you'd better go all the way, and Heavy Nova does, complete with technical accuracy, mannerisms, and a phalanx of slick-haired, red-lipped dancers by their sides. They know it's best to save it up for those special times, and tonight is one of them. MS
w/Dorian Macmillan; Bunk Bar, 1028 SW Water, 10 pm, FREE

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16

WE ARE DEVO!—Dust off your energy dome hat and pick up your yellow jumpsuit from the dry cleaners—'cause Devo's in town! Moog enthusiasts and retro post-punk new wavers rejoice, as the delightful sounds of your favorite Ohioan band come to town. Whip it good, Portland, whip it good. CF
Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $40-100, all ages

FACE/OFF—Two of Portland's professional film geeks—Clinton Street Theater Owner Seth Sonstein and Hollywood Theatre Head Programmer Dan Halsted—are facing off to see who has the best rare, weird, and cool movie trailers. Trailer War will feature 30-35 minutes of eye-popping previews from each of their collections, with the audience deciding who wins... and who dies. (Okay, maybe not the dying part.) EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7

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