THURSDAY, MARCH 22

HONORED—PHAME Academy provides arts programs for adults with developmental disabilities; tonight, their week-long H Is for Honored tour of the Portland region concludes with a showcase featuring comedy, dance, and a performance from the PHAME choir. AH
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 7 pm, $15, all ages

GIVE A SHIT—It's that time o' the month again: The Bus Project and the Mercury pair up to give you Give a Shit Happy Hour, a low-key shindig with folks who give a shit and rad nonprofits that deserve a moment in the spotlight. Oh, and booze and food! AZ
Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine, 6 pm, FREE, all ages

FRIDAY, MARCH 23

BLAME CANADA—Like a prog-rock orgy of Grand Guginol rock and psychedelic whatthefuck, the live shows of Of Montreal are an experience not to be missed. The music's great, the visuals are great, and hey, look at that, are those drugs? Take them! EH
w/Deerhoof, Kishi Bashi; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 9 pm, $15, all ages

MAGIC GNOMES—Cleveland's husband-wife duo Mr. Gnome are a force. Blending a love of creepy surrealism with metal chops, they meld crushing, soaring beauty with towering walls of dark, hard rock. That tends to be a solid combination in general, but when it's produced with a convincing grit like theirs, it's downright celestial. MS
w/Pt. Juncture WA, Sun Angle; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $8

SATURDAY, MARCH 24

MALT BALLS—Look how smart we are: We combined a huge gathering of local breweries (17 of 'em) sampling out their sudsy goodness with a full day of kickass bands (12 of 'em), including sets from Denver, Lord Dying, Weinland, and the Builders and the Butchers. Come for the beer and stay for the music, or vice versa, but come. Stay. Good dog. MS
Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside, 2 pm-midnight, $20-25, 21+

HAIL, NEGRODAMUS—Without Paul Mooney, there'd be no Robin Williams, no Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip. He's best known for his appearances on Chappelle's Show, but he's influenced many of the best stand-ups of all time, which makes sense, as he's one of the funniest people who's ever lived. BR
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7 & 9:30 pm, $15-27

SUNDAY, MARCH 25

LOCH IT UP—Local folk legends Loch Lomond will be serenading North Portland's Mississippi Studios with Dinosaur Feathers and Lemolo this delightful Sunday evening. Show up early for a drink next door and start your week with some pleasant vibes and bittersweet melodies. CG
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $8-10

GET MAD—TV geeks are creaming their knickers for tonight's fifth season premiere of Mad Men. Will Don Draper stupidly marry Megan? Will Betty suffer a nervous breakdown? And Joan's breasts? What about them?? Watch it all go down with a crowd of similarly obsessed fans. WSH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 9 pm, FREE

MONDAY, MARCH 26

PUNK ROCK GIRL(S)—Georgia quartet the Coathangers are a welcome whirlwind of all-girl punk-rock exuberance, spitting bratty choruses like it's 1997 while embracing a confident, theatrical sexuality that's entirely of the moment. AH
w/White Mystery, Ghost Mom, Pataha Hiss; East End, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, $8

DUKE—Reed music professor David Schiff hits Powell's tonight to read from The Ellington Century, his new book about jazz genius Duke Ellington. Presumably, Schiff will talk about (A) how great Ellington was, and (B) how jaw-droppingly massive his influence has been on modern culture. EH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

TUESDAY, MARCH 27

GUT MUNCHER—Italian gore maestro Lucio Fulci makes disgusting masterpieces—see for yourself at the Hollywood's screening of 1980's The Gates of Hell. Intestine-hungry zombies are seeping out of hell because the suicide of a priest unleashed them on the gut-having public. Plus there's a drill scene that'll turn the most iron of stomachs! CF
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7

IT GETS BETTER—I believe one game can change a season. A game where the Blazers jack up the Oklahoma City Thunder, knocks the season back into focus, and injects a much-needed shot of uncut chemical-grade confidence into a wobbly team. That's better than believing in 12 minutes of play and 36 minutes of bewildered bed-shitting, right? BR
Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $25-185

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28

JEWISH SHORTS—Come watch some bitchin' local filmmakers and artists show and discuss their films at the Oregon Jewish Museum's six: social playground event, Through the Lens. Music video filmmaker extraordinaire Alicia J. Rose and former Decemberist Rachel Blumberg, along with other talented locals, will show off their filmmaking prowess. CF
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 7 pm, $10, 21+

GO KATNISS GO!—If you're one of the four people who, for whatever stupid reason, hasn't read The Hunger Games, go back to your sad little cave. For everyone else: THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE! KATNISS GONNA KILL SOME KIDS! SHOW THOSE DICKS IN THE CAPITOL WHAT'S UP! WHOOO! EH
Various theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes