THURSDAY, APRIL 12

BACK IN STRIDE—The Soul'd Out Music Fest starts today (see here for deets!) and to kick things off is one of your "quiet storm" soul faves from the '70s, Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. They're wildly rhythmic and optimistic, and if you are ever down in the dumps, nothing will cheer you up faster than their hit "Back in Stride." WSH
Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 7:30 pm, $43-85, all ages

CONSPIRACY THEORY—Jesse Ventura is slightly nutty. James Adomian is a little touched himself. What better way to kick off the 2012 Bridgetown Comedy Festival than to watch Adomian spiral out into pure comedic madness as he impersonates Minnesota's former governor, attempting to uncover the biggest conspiracy mankind has ever known? BR
Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $15, bridgetowncomedy.com

FRIDAY, APRIL 13

PEDAL PREMIERE—It's the kick-off of the 10th annual Filmed by Bike festival tonight! Pedal over to Clinton Street Theater to see 13 of the 75 bike-centric films from around the globe surrounded by the "infamously raucous" opening night crowd, participate in the intermission raffle, and then stick around for the New Belgium street party. Bikes, booze, and entertainment—how could you go wrong? AZ
Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, party starts at 6 pm, see filmedbybike.org for screening times, $11, 21+

WHEEL OF FORTUNE—It's not too often that Elvis Costello wheels into town—especially rare when he brings an actual game-show wheel. With each spin, the setlist is determined for the night. Alongside a go-go cage, the bespectacled emcee of awesome will belt out his iconic songs and pump it up onstage. CF
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 8 pm, $46.50-88.50, all ages

PICA PEEKING—At long last, PICA is settled into its new Southwest Portland digs, and they've invited the whole town for an open house. It doubles as the opening of Brooklyn artist Glen Fogel's My Apocalyptic Moment, the first in a series of artist residencies. Also coming: a 4,500-square-foot deck slated to open to the public this summer! MS
PICA, 415 SW 10th, #300, 6 pm, FREE

SATURDAY, APRIL 14

GO PEGACORNS!—Tonight's the first game since 2011 for the all-star roller girls of the Rose City Rollers' Wheels of Justice. Along with battling the regionally top-ranked Windy City Rollers out of Chicago, the Portland gals will put on a fun newbie-and-returning-skater exhibition game for hordes of crash-hungry roller derby fans. CF
Memorial Coliseum, 300 Winning Way, 5:45 pm, $14-20

HALES YES—Who's in for a scavenger hunt and dance party featuring mayoral candidate (and rug-cutter) Charlie Hales? Choose a "rockin' team name" and hightail it around town, then meet up at Holocene for a chance to watch Hales get down to the beats of Portland's finest soul and R&B DJs. It could get weird. AZ
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 3 pm hunt, 8 pm dance party (21+), $5 donation; 8 1/5 DJs night, 9 pm, FREE before 11 pm, $3 after

SUNDAY, APRIL 15

GET RED—With a terrific debut album in the form of Lost Leader and a live band that's aces, Ed and the Red Reds' whoop-'em-up country-tinged folk rock is some of the best on offer in town. See them for cheap on a Sunday, and spend the rest of your week with frontman Ed Thanhouser's expert tunes rolling around in your head. NL
w/Country Mice, Melville; Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $5

FICTIONAL INTERCOURSE—Is there anything more fun than fapping the night away in your basement? No? Okay, but what about if a bunch of comedians were reading sexy stories about your favorite fictional characters. Aloud. On stage. Bridgetown Comedy Festival's "Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction" soiree (featuring stand-ups like Mike Drucker and Bryan Cook!) is worth staying up late for. DCT
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, $10, 21+

MONDAY, APRIL 16

GAY SKATE!—Roller skating is a certified blast—we hold this truth to be self-evident. But things get significantly "blast-ier" when it's a Gay Skate night at Oaks Park! Gleefully jam around the rink knowing that you're benefiting LGBT softball team the Portland Grizzles... and as a bonus? Board games in the snack bar, if you're a roller skating tender foot. (Ain't no skate night like a gay skate!) WSH
Oaks Park Roller Rink, 7805 SE Oaks Park, 7–9 pm, $6

BULLY—Mired in ratings controversy before its release, Lee Hirsch's critically acclaimed documentary Bully is finally coming to theaters. Focusing on victims of bullying—both students and their families—it'll open your eyes and remind you why you hated high school. EH
Fox Tower 10, 846 SW Park, see Movie Times for showtimes, $7.50-10.50

TUESDAY, APRIL 17

STREET SMART—Once there were Nightmoves; now there are Street Nights. The new name of the new band from the Joggers' Jake Morris, Street Nights make tremendous tunes that sound like the greatest FM radio rock block of all time: snarled guitars, thick bottom, and melodies meant for eternity. See 'em before they play at the Keep Portland Weird festival in Paris (?!). NL
w/Rebecca Gates and the Consortium; Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 10 pm, $3

THIS IS A TEST—If you've spent a significant portion of your life feeling unpopular, turning instead to the companionship of science-fiction franchises and comic books, you've probably gotten the memo that you're cool now. But how cool?? Compete against your peers at tonight's installment of Geek Trivia, and may the one with the loneliest childhood win! MS
Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd, 7 pm, FREE

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18

FAIR THEE WELL—No goggles should be necessary at the Tin House Science Fair (in honor of the publishing house's science issue). Live music, various readings, science experiments, and old film screenings promise an entertaining evening with only the most literary of local nerds. CG
w/White Hinterland, Pure Bathing Culture, & more; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 7:30 pm, $5

AVENNGE MEEE—The last time the Jazz played the Blazers, they snuck back to Utah with an ill-gotten win. This is the last home game of the year for the Blazers; I'm sure Coach Canales will have some inspirational words, but I hope the voice echoing in the players' heads is Harry Dean Stanton's, and the ensuing game looks less like basketball, and more like Red Dawn. BR
Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7 pm, $25-185