MUSIC—Danish band Efterklang recorded pieces of their newest album in an abandoned coal-mining town on an island in the Arctic Ocean. Transforming those sounds into the gracious pop of their latest album, it's proof that these sonic explorers are responsible for some of the most fascinating, beautiful music currently being made anywhere on the globe. NL
w/Nightlands; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $13-15

COMEDY—The Tonic Lounge's Weekly Recurring Humor Night has been plugging away for two years, hosting locals and touring stand-up comics every week in the Tonic's back room. Tonight they celebrate their terrible twos with a solid lineup of locals headlined by the very funny Shane Torres—and cupcakes. AH
Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy, 9 pm, $3-5


BASKETBALL—There's minimal reasoning behind rivalries. Blazers vs. Knicks isn't really a rivalry, but there are plenty of reasons to root against the Knicks. (1) They're from New York. (2) New York is bullshit. (3) Their jerseys look gross. So fuck the Knicks. Go Blazers. BR
Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7:30 pm, $19-175

STAND-UP—Remember that sitcom Titus? The star, acerbic funnyman Christopher Titus, has had some serious life lows since then, but all the while he's been doing seriously funny stand-up. Maybe you caught his great interview on the WTF podcast; now you should go see what he's been up to since his heyday. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $18-30


DANCE PARTY—Shut Up and Dance is Portland's longest-running booty-shaking night, and for good reason! DJ Gregarious' blend of hits from the '80s to now can really cook a dance floor. And tonight, to celebrate his move to the Eastside, the Mercury will be on hand for a mutual appreciation night including drink specials and tons of ass-shakin' hijinks. Come dance with us! WSH
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5

MUSIC—You can't go wrong with a band that has a guitarist and a bucket player. Portland band Hillstomp serenades and entertains with their classic "punkabilly" twang and upbeat tunes for two nights at the Doug Fir. The hick-punk-hipsters in all of us welcome back their dance-friendly blues. RF
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, Fri (w/Sassparilla, Hong Kong Banana), Sat (w/the Pynnacles, Paradise), 9 pm, $10


MUSIC—Few videogames have music as evocative and beautiful as Nintendo's Zelda games—so it makes sense that the Oregon Symphony is presenting the goofily named The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses, featuring 25 years' worth of Koji Kondo's haunting scores. Plus, footage from the games will be playing on a big screen, so leave your 3DS at home. EH
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $21-95, all ages

FILM—Billed as a more entertaining alternative to a cold shower, Seattle's Scarecrow Video presents VHSEX, a compilation of adults-only footage vetted as the best of the best among their VHS collection of sexploitation. Expect lots of entertainingly weird and/or awkward nudity and a frank speech from Dr. Ruth, but don't (necessarily) expect to get turned on. MS
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7


DRUNK—St. Patrick's Day is amateur hour for would-be drunks who cover their dumb hair with dumb leprechaun hats and their dumb faces with dumb shamrock stickers and their dumb toilets with dumb buckets of dumb green vomit. So! If you're tired of "responsibly holding your liquor" or "maintaining your dignity by avoiding crude cultural tropes," then today you're in luck. DCT
Everywhere, all day, FREE (unless you have pride)

FILM—Sometimes a movie needs a couple decades to be recognized for the work of genius it really is. John Carpenter's They Live is a sweaty, paranoid chunk of left-wing grindhouse, starring Rowdy Roddy Piper as a man with a desire to kick ass, and an alarming lack of bubblegum to chew. And the Hollywood's showing it on 35mm! BR
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, see Film Times, $7


SMALL PRESS FEST—Death knolls continue to toll for the publishing scene, but Portland's small press scene is more vibrant than ever. For the sixth year in a row, Smallpressapalooza's marathon reading festival showcases the city's finest indie authors, zinesters, and poets. AH
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 6-10 pm, FREE

BINGO!—Not everything from our grandparents' generation will live on, like mailed correspondence, the practice of saving every penny, and the weekly wash and set (actually this will probably make a comeback). But bingo? We're on it, with laidback hipster versions like Bingo and Bourbon with Brian Perez, which is a lovely way to knock off another rainy night. MS
Mississippi Pizza Pub, 3552 N Mississippi, 8 pm, pay to play


READING—Jim Lynch is celebrating the release of the paperback of his great third novel, Truth Like the Sun. The Seattle author's book is a wonderful potboiler about the intricate undertakings of the 1962 World's Fair in Seattle. It's chockfull of mystery, history, and the bursting of the tech bubble at the turn of the millennium. CF
Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 7 pm, FREE

FILM—One of the best blockbusters ever, James Cameron's balls-out sequel Terminator 2: Judgment Day trades the lean nastiness of the low-budget original for broad humor and overblown spectacle... and it's a hell of a lot of fun. From the still-thrilling action to Brad Fiedel's thudding score, this is a movie you have to see on the big screen. EH
Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, see Film Times, $4