THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4

Drop by the East End tonight to: (a) say happy one year anniversary; (b) check out the awesome art of Sohale Kevin Darouian; (c) move your sweet and juicy to the sounds of DJ Spencer D; and (d) rock the fawk out with Explode into Colors and Fist Fite. Yeah, that should do it. WSH

East End, 203 SE Grand, 9 pm, $6

Now in its fourth year, the Art of Musical Maintenance sees music posters from all over the country blanketing the walls of the Goodfoot. Grab a beer and check out these supremely cool, imaginative, bizarre, and beautiful posters—and if you see something you really like, you can buy a print of it on the spot. EH

The Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark, through January 28, FREE

Canada's soul-folk group Po' Girl will take the weight out of your post-holiday week with Dust Bowl harmonies and beautifully rustic string arrangements. Doug Fir's log cabin couldn't be a more fitting venue to host this woodsy crew, and wouldn't you know it: only $10! RJP

w/Mighty Ghosts of Heaven, Elliott Brood; Doug Fir, 800 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5

The Portland Cello Project beef up their ranks and don their most festive sweaters for tonight's Holiday Sweater Spectacular. Featured sit-ins include Mirah, Loch Lomond's Ritchie Young, Mercury fave Matt Sheehy, and more! Wear a silly holiday sweater and get a free CD of unreleased PCP music! RJP

Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, $13-15, 8 pm

It's been a while since we've heard from hometown heroes the Thermals, but this weekend they've got a double-header lined up for us: tonight's 21-and-over show, and an early all-ages show on Saturday! The band, joined by new drummer Westin Glass of Say Hi, just signed to Kill Rock Stars and have a new record due out next year—we can't wait. NL

w/Panther (Fri only), Champagne Champagne, DJ Maggie Vail; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, Fri Dec 5, 9 pm, $12, 21+ and Sat Dec 6, 5 pm, $12, all ages

The Portland Jazz Orchestra gets their nut into the game, performing Duke Ellingtons clever, good-humored jazz adaptation of Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite. Perhaps not so virtuosic is Theater Uber Alles' burlesque take on the ballet classic; it may get raunchy, but hey, those dancers in bulging tights were never G-rated, anyway. PAC

Portland Jazz Orchestra, Newmark Theater, 1111 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $16-28; Cheeseburger Dinner Theater w/the Karaoke from Hell Band, Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 7:30 pm, $10-15

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6

The last thing Erik Trammell, of local band Black Elk, remembers before getting hit while on his bike is the car's headlights. Fresh from the hospital, and with the bills to prove it, Trammell is getting a little help from his musical pals: Seattle's brutal Akimbo headlines tonight's benefit show, and there's another fundraiser at Rotture on Sunday. Do your part and help someone in dire need. EAC

w/Ancient Age, Rabbits; Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th, 9 pm, $8

A fantastic collection of obscure, forgotten, and never-meant-to-be-seen video footage, the Found Footage Festival is one of the funniest, weirdest experiences you'll ever have in a movie theater. This weekend, affable curators Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher host a live presentation of this year's videos, which include "an instructional video on how to toilet train cats" and "17 workplace sexual harassment videos, edited down to three minutes of just the best reenactments." EH

Laurelhurst Theater, 2735 E Burnside, Fri-Sat at 7 & 9 pm, $8

I know that the only way I can handle Christmas shopping is if I'm full of beer. Thank god for the Holiday Ale Fest, pouring the good stuff right in Pioneer Courthouse Square. Why, Macy's is just a drunken stumble away. PAC

Pioneer Courthouse Square, Thurs Dec 4-Sat Dec 6, 11 am-10 pm, Sun Dec 7, 11 am-7 pm, FREE admission, $20 tasting package

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7

It's craft bazaar season, and you'll have plenty of opportunities for shopping local, unique vendors, but the da Vinci School Arts Fair is one to pencil in. Not only does it feature 70 artists, food, live music, and a raffle—30 percent of the proceeds go to fund arts education. MS

da Vinci Middle School, 2508 NE Everett, Sat Dec 6 noon-6 pm & Sun Dec 7 10 am-4 pm, FREE, all ages

Hot on the heels of a pair of digitally distributed albums, Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails come through town playing all the hits from nearly 20(!) years of sad feelings. NL

w/the Bug; Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 8 pm, $30-49.50, all ages

If you haven't had enough Tchaikovsky lately, then the Oregon Symphony wants to help by giving you nothing but Tchaikovsky for an entire evening, with an extra-special bonus rare piano concerto! PAC

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, Sat Nov 6-Sun Nov 7, 7:30 pm, Mon Dec 8, 8 pm, $19.75-107.50

MONDAY, DECEMBER 8

Kick your week off correct with the jazzy funk hybrid and custom guit-bass virtuosity of the Charlie Hunter Trio. Hunter's well-regarded improvisations and onstage (audible) grunting—yes, grunting—are the stuff of jam legend, prerequisite for both music geeks and tech wizards alike. RJP

Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, $18.50-20, 8 pm, all ages

Washington Post reporter Steve Fainaru's new book describes experiences traveling with private security contractors in Iraq. Big Boy Rules is vital reading for these troubling times. MD

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE, all ages

Years later, "Take Me Out" is still stuck in your head. No wonder Franz Ferdinand sold out tonight; if you still need tix, check out Craigslist. MD

w/Cold War Kids; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, sold out, all ages

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 9

Think you've got it tough in this economic downturn? Well, how about Bob Cratchit and poor Tiny Tim? I think they've got it a bit worse. Rediscover the Scrooge inside, and come out bathed in the X-mas spirit with Portland Center Stage's bang-up version of A Christmas Carol. And may God bless us one and all! WSH

Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th, Tues-Sat 7:30 pm, Sun 2 pm, $42-65 ($15 18 & under, $20 students), through Dec 28

While I can't completely vouch for the name, I will go to bat for the gloriously fun music of Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band. Like a never-ending summer basement party, this bouncy Seattle band has an inspiring yet sort of bizarre lineup: Marshall Verdoes, their 13-year-old drummer, is the adopted son of married band members Benjamin Verdoes and Traci Eggleston. That is so cute. EAC

w/Wildbirds & Peacedrums; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

The latest filmed-in-Portland picture to debut is James Westby's The Auteur, a raunchy romp about a porn director who rose to prominence for his actual dedication to filmmaking. Starring boobs, jizz, and lots of familiar faces! MS

Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st, click here for showtimes

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10

Tonight features two don't-miss artists on the same bill: Thao with the Get Down Stay Down combine smart, sophisticated lyrics with insanely catchy melodies, while the fantastically talented singer/songwriter Laura Gibson just might demonstrate why she's widely considered the nicest musician in Portland. (Hint: think Christmas cookies!) AH

w/Amber Rubarth; Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $10

Air America pundit Thom Hartmann wants to teach you to think like a Republican: In his new book Cracking the Code, Hartmann argues that the political left has much to learn from the right about communication and persuasive messaging. AH

Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, FREE

Metallers Lamb of God may be the headliners tonight, but for our hard-plundered silver, the real reason to show up is Austin, Texas, retro-stoners the Sword, whose riff-tastic, sludgy metal is evil at its most basic, most honest, and most fun. NL

w/3 Inches of Blood; Roseland, 8 NW 6th, 8 pm, $25-28, all ages