Hey puny human! HULK GOT POT SHOP! No, really... Hulk serious! Hulk got pot shop! And that am actual name of Hulk pot shop—HULK GOT POT SHOP!
As loyal reader know, Hulk need money. Hulk priced out of dumb city, and even after selling recumbent bike, Hulk forced to rent apartment on far Eastside. (Far Eastside.) (Okay, it not even apartment. It cave. In Troutdale.) THIS AM BECOMING UNTENABLE SITUATION!!
That why Hulk open up pot shop called HULK GOT POT SHOP! But why should YOU shop at HULK GOT POT SHOP? Because HULK GOT POT SHOP am different! How? This am how!
• HULK GOT POT SHOP is NOT run by hippies. It am run by HULK!
• HULK GOT POT SHOP does NOT serve hippies. If hippie even look at HULK GOT POT SHOP? HULK SMASH!
• HULK GOT POT SHOP only stock world most aggressive strains of pot. How many time have you smoked pot—only to turn back into puny Bruce Banner? TOO MANY TIME! That why Hulk only sell strains that make Hulk feel VERY... VERY... ANGRY!!
• HULK GOT POT SHOP also have "wacky" names for pot based on Avengers! (Hulk come up with them by Hulkself!) Try "Black Widow Kush," "Hawkeye Redeye," or "Captain Americannabis"! Haha! Good one, Hulk! But Hulk not done! Try Iron Man's "Repulsor Blast" or maybe Thor's "Mjolnirjuana"? Ha! (Please no tell Avengers. They'll just want cut! NO WAY! Avengers already rich! Avengers live in mansion! Hulk, as Hulk note earlier, live in cave.)
• HULK GOT POT SHOP also feature "gamma radioactive" dabs! These dabs made from very potent, very rare, very top-secret ingredient.* Let Hulk put this way: There reason why Hulk green!†
So what are puny humans waiting for? Come on down to HULK GOT POT SHOP: Where our "green" is guaranteed to SMASH!
* Hulk urine.
† Hulk not responsible for side effect, which may or may not include radiation poisoning, uncontrollable rage, skin disfigurement, ripped clothing, extreme mood swings, mental fogginess, being attacked by the army, living in cave, turning into puny human scientist, and erectile dysfunction.