TED 2 “Don’t worry, buddy. Even if everybody hates our movie, we’ve still got all this Bud Light ad money!”

AGAINST THE ODDS of a stupid premise—a teddy bear named Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane, who also writes and directs) comes alive and grows up, along with the little boy who loves him (John, played by Mark Wahlberg), to be a foul-mouthed womanizing pothead—the original Ted kind of worked. It maximized the contrast of ostensible cuteness with a willingness to go to outer extremes of depravity: there were impressive drug freakouts, major comfort zone violations, and perhaps most memorably, a prostitute shat on the floor.

Those were good times for Ted, but as is so often the case, the party's over when you start talking babies. That's where the distinctly less charming Ted 2 picks up: Now married to pouty sex bomb Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), Ted embarks on a mission to procreate. It's an endeavor that entails both breaking into Tom Brady's house to jerk him off in his sleep (continuing Ted's tradition of cameos, you'll also find the likes of Jay Leno and Liam Neeson in the woodwork) and submitting an application to adopt. The latter results in unwanted legal attention over the classification of Ted as property, necessitating Amanda Seyfried as Samantha, a young lawyer who shares Ted and John's cannabis habit (hired!), another extended cameo by Morgan Freeman, and a tiresome series of dabblings in court procedural, road-trip flick, romantic comedy, slapstick action, and—with decidedly more commitment—naked attempts to cash in on the rapidly legalizing stoner economy.

Unlike its predecessor, which wisely focused on no-they-didn't raunchiness, Ted 2 asks its audience to overlook a series of predictable and/or unfinished plotlines, culturally insensitive jokes, and a terribly timed "civil rights" narrative and experience an emotional reflex. Nope... nothing. Plus that's not nearly as fun as a teddy bear saying "motherfucker," and even that, apparently, is only funny once.