Pious Prius 

I, Anonymous

You have a Prius. I see it everywhere. It's silver. It's red. It's blue. You are environmentally friendly. You love things that are sustainable and "green." You probably compost, sort all your recycling, and have a reusable shopping bag for your short drive to Whole Foods. You are the best! So, do we really need the Obama sticker? Yeah, the dude is cool, he's dreamy, whatever. I get it. It was bad enough that I had to read the Kerry/Edwards sticker on your fucking Volvo until 2007 when you finally traded in a perfectly good car. Now that you have your Prius, the Obama sticker is a fucking given. You can afford to be the best fucking person in the world. But if you were really concerned about the socio-enviro-political conditions, you'd have taken all that money you spent on the Prius, moved out of the Pearl, given the money to Mercy Corps or Habitat for Humanity, and ridden your goddamn bike! Now that would be a statement! Go Obama!—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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